This is the first time that I've confessed this part of my life. I am not proud of what I did and this has given me anxiety and depression for months, but I am now okay and learned my lesson.
I was married and we traveled to Argentina together, with the intention of being happy living in another country and growing stronger supporting each other. But, when I came to Argentina, after living there about a month, I met a guy and fell in love. I met him at my college and we became friends. We started to study together and go out. I never told him that I was married, because I was afraid to break up with my husband and later regret it. I was selfish and I can recognize it. So, I started to have two relationships and they didn't know about each other.
I was in love with two guys and this was very frustrating for me; I really loved both and I couldn't find the solution, so I kept these relationships for more than six months. It was the worst six months that I've ever lived...six months of lies and more lies. I had to lie to my husband when I slept out of the house, and I had to look in his eyes and say that everything was fine. I did not feel guilty because I liked both and I didn't know what to do. When I was out with one of them, I was worried because I was afraid that one would see me with the other. It was a mess.
And, well, I broke up with both after six months of this. I had started to feel so guilty that I couldn't study, eat or work very well. I was in pieces and in love; this was the most crazy feeling that I ever felt. When I broke up with them, I never told them the truth. Actually, I've kept this lie with me until now. You are the first person that I have told.
I know that this is not good and I can't describe how bad this feeling hurts me. I hope they are fine and happy. I really cared for them but I couldn't keep this. I lived two different lives at the same time and it was the biggest lie in my whole life.
Thanks @missy and @rambo for giving me the space to talk about it. It is important for me to share it because it changed my life.
