Good morning my dear!
Today I would like to inform @missy and @rambo that I think I'm going to answer quite all the old Homework they gave us, as I'm in since August, I've missed A LOT of homeworks which I actually would love to write, so I'm starting!
2/7: "What inspired you to become a SuicideGirl?" (in your case, a Hopeful!)
Anybody in my life always told me I was beautiful. Many people in my life, when I was a teen, told me I was ugly and a tomboy and that I would never found a boy who would have loved me. Many people were looking me with desire eyes, many other told me that I was bigger than them, more muscular than many men (is it my problem if you're thin??), more dangerous and aggressive than them and they were scared by me (they were men and boys, folks...)
Also my father once told me that I was getting too fat, that he could not believe that I would have felt comfortable in a body that no men would look.
I've always been too big for being a standard model and too thin for being a plus-size one.
I think I'm tall, as a girl, I'm 170 cm, but for being a model they ask for girls tall at least 175 cm. When I see these requests I feel short...
I love tattoos and I had my first one when I was 18, now I have 3 and I don't think I'm going to stop, but even if we are in year 2015 no model agency would recruit a tattooed model.
Even curvy models agency search for girls bigger than me, and I absolutely don't feel thin and skinny!
I had to increase my self-esteem, I needed to prove that, even if I'm not in a fashion-standard body, I was pretty. I wanted to try and see if someone would ever tell me again that I was too dangerous, too aggressive, too manly or too muscular.
I did not fail, and now I'm so happy I decided to try!
All the community is giving me so much love that I could not even explain it, the feeling I have is incredible and I will always say that ANY GIRL OR WOMAN IN WORLD should try this experience to see that there are tons and tons of kind and nice men who would love to know her and to listen to her voice and who will always notice the color of her eyes and her haircut.
Here I want to thank you all for the love you send me everyday, here I want to hug you all and try to send you back those tons of love.
I don't know why I didn't try earlier!!
A big hug,
Brunhild.
