bruisedbones

Yesterday was a fucking rough one....seemed no matter what I did or where I went...shit was coming apart at the seams. Nothing I can't handle...but way more than I want to think about. I'm usually a happy-go-lucky mother fucker...shit has a way of not getting under my skin, but yesterday hit me like a ton-o-bricks. I'm not sure why I let it get me down, family politics, work politics, and rejection ( some of you know what I'm talking about). I'd like to think I'm pretty tough...but it felt like something severed a artery...and I was going down. I guess heavy thoughts make for heavy hearts. I even had some trouble getting to sleep, and around 6 am I finally got some zzzz. I do feel better today...but still contemplateing my next move, kinda unsure. I just keep telling myself "it will be OK"...and I know that's true...but I wish I had some answers....or someone to point the finger at. I just find it strange that so much happened in one day...a day I thought would be so uneventful. Who knows right? Everything happens for a reason! I just can't see the method to all this madness!!!

Then...in the mist of all this...while looking through some threads...I saw some girls saying some of the most horrible, fucking terrible things to some of these "Hopefuls"!!!! Hope-ful...adj. Manifesting or full of hope. A person who shows signs of succeeding!!! That's what the fucking word "hopeful" means to me. I must say that these girls are not girls that I regularly look at...and I'd like to think that's all my good judgement. But...this is where they send you when you get a rejected sets....FOR FUCKING ANSWERS!!!!!! Not to be critiqued or fucking just plain ripped to shreds. I can only imagine what that's like...to expose you're self...looking for approval...and when your already hurting...have some heartless fucking bitch tell you she is going to take a shit in your cornflakes!!! O-well.... I know there are still plenty of good people in the world...people that show compassion....people that aren't afraid to show their REAL feelings.

I guess we all have day's like that...it just leaves me so tired and worn out .
Untill next time...