I'm moving to the San Francisco/Bay Area in a matter of weeks and I'm as excited as I am scared shitless. I've never lived anywhere but Chicago my entire life and here I am leaving my friends, family, and all the comforts of home for...hopefully something better. Before anyone thinks I'm taking these wonderful, wonderful people in my life for granted, let me explain: all around me friends and family are getting married, going back to school, generally, moving forward with their lives. I've been more or less inert for something like seven years, now. Granted, there has been some progress (especially on the lady-front) the past year or so, but now I find myself in a new rut dating girls far too young for me or just plain inappropriate for me altogether.
Then there's my "career." I graduated with a degree in journalism have worked several editorial gigs since finishing college, and continue to freelance write, concentrating on the music and film industries...but find myself needing to work in a crappy law office 40+ hours a week just to get by.
I've thought about what would happen if I didn't move. I'd still have my friends, I'd still have my family...but I'd still be stuck working crappy office jobs because as far as the kind of journalism I want to do is concerned, I've pretty much tapped that well dry. I just don't think I can do that, ya know?
But then there's the fear of being just plain lonely. While, yes, I do already have about three (maybe even four?) friends out there, but still, there are few things worse than being left all alone on a Friday or Saturday night in a new city. I'm honestly not sure how well I'd be able to handle that. A friend of mine who moved here from Indianapolis without knowing many people said be prepared for at least a couple nervous breakdowns your first few months in a new place, to which I replied I'm completely prepared for. But the closer the moving date approaches, the more I'm wondering if I really am.
I can't be scared at the chance of being even more miserable somewhere else than I already am here, otherwise, how will I ever know, you know? Bottom line is, I already know I'll probably already be miserable here if I stay. I kind of have to find out whether or not what I'm looking for is somewhere else.
Then there's my "career." I graduated with a degree in journalism have worked several editorial gigs since finishing college, and continue to freelance write, concentrating on the music and film industries...but find myself needing to work in a crappy law office 40+ hours a week just to get by.
I've thought about what would happen if I didn't move. I'd still have my friends, I'd still have my family...but I'd still be stuck working crappy office jobs because as far as the kind of journalism I want to do is concerned, I've pretty much tapped that well dry. I just don't think I can do that, ya know?
But then there's the fear of being just plain lonely. While, yes, I do already have about three (maybe even four?) friends out there, but still, there are few things worse than being left all alone on a Friday or Saturday night in a new city. I'm honestly not sure how well I'd be able to handle that. A friend of mine who moved here from Indianapolis without knowing many people said be prepared for at least a couple nervous breakdowns your first few months in a new place, to which I replied I'm completely prepared for. But the closer the moving date approaches, the more I'm wondering if I really am.
I can't be scared at the chance of being even more miserable somewhere else than I already am here, otherwise, how will I ever know, you know? Bottom line is, I already know I'll probably already be miserable here if I stay. I kind of have to find out whether or not what I'm looking for is somewhere else.