browneyedboy

I cannot believe I am finally back home. It took me 11 days and over 2700 miles on the road, but I am back. I went from here to Central Texas, Central Texas to West Texas, West Texas to New Mexico and back, then back again, and home via Oklahoma. Double whew. Christmas was spent with my mom and step-dad which was fun. They are very chill. We watched LOST season 4, ate lots of food, and I showed them how to play with iTunes for the first time. They were very excited, and I was very happy to see them excited. Not everything was puppies and rainbows though.

I got bit by my grandmother's dog. I had to blow through a malfunctioning toll booth in Oklahoma which set off a really painful alarm. (I probably have a ticket coming.) I don't think I've seen a vegetable in days. Trail mix and truck stop coffee do not a diet make; and I have not been on a run in days. It's fucking with my sleep. All in all, I learned quite a few things on my little trip across the Southwest:

• Pack the Febreeze Auto at all costs. Period.


• Back when Michael Jackson was Black, he made pretty good music.


• The Mass Pike ain't got nuthin' on the Cherokee Turnpike: smooth, vacant, scenic, and fast. It is quite possibly the sweetest ride on the planet.


• Ad hoc improvisitional detours can yield delicious fruit.


• Kombucha is surpisingly tasty.


• It is not possible to "run in and out real quick" of an Ikea, even if you have a shopping list.


• Swollen nipples should be seen by a professional physician, not by family members during dinner.

I'm in a list-making mood so let's quickly talk Christmas booty: gifts received, not the other kind. This was an unusual Christmas for me. Normally I get the sweater-I-will-never-wear from grandma, some kind of cooking device from my mother, a trip across the border to Mexico with my uncle to watch the greyhounds race, an aluminum tub of popcorn, and boxers that don't fit.

This year however, was unusual. Here's a list of some of the things I was lucky enough to receive this year:

• A sweater from grandma I might actually wear


• A bottle of fabric softner from my mom. (I guess she didn't like the feel of my clothes.)


• A pack of v-neck t-shirts which is one-part inside joke and one-part unfortunate. I prefer crew- over v-. (Ingrate, I know.)


• A GPS unit from mom and grams. This actually rocks and I almost couldn't accept it. Great gift.


• A black henley that is too large. It looks awfully similar to the black henley that is too large that I got for Christmas two years ago. I think my mom has a stockpile somewhere.


• An aluminum tub of popcorn


• Unexpected cash. Gotta love that.


• New furniture for my apartment which I'm way psyched about. (Presents from me to me.)


• New pasta bowls. Finally. Now Juno doesn't have to listen to me bitch every other day about how I need to buy some pasta bowls.


• Saving the best for last...I met someone; a kindred-spirit kind of someone; the type of someone that alters lives. We talked, we ate, we watched movies...it was perfect. Thank you for that. It brings me calm to know there are people like you still out there in the world. I hope I get to see you again.

"Whatever happens now, I won't be afraid..." You should know the rest...