brooklynbabe

Ok well the party was fine- the guys were gentlemen thankfully, and we all made it out of there in one piece.

I was tempted to run out and spend a *little* bit of my earnings on something nice from the mall- but I finally opened my cellphone bill and got depressed again.

I made some overseas calls to my ex- trying to keep his spirits up. He's such a happy, upbeat person, it really hurt me to hear him sounding depressed and worried because he does convoys and gets shot at regularly.

Well due to my lack of self-control the bill went sky-high. I didnt make any international calls since May and they only recently got the bill straight with all the charges, taxes and shit. So there goes my hard-earned cash again...all 800 bucks and I'm still not even half-way.

I just keep trying to remember how good I have it- a roof over my head, a car, and meals (if I ever had any appetite to eat anything lately) but my nerves are pretty shot. i'm good at keeping my emotions in- but even one of my friends noticed, and gave me some Valium- i never intended to use it...but i'll take anything at this point,. I'm gonna take a nap now- I'm so beat I doubt i'll even make it to work today.

Sorry for the depressing rant...

Hope you all enjoy the holiday.