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bromopar

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Note to bullies: other people's responses to your behavior are NOt up to you.

Apr 22, 2018
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What do I mean by that? Let's use the most common bully excuse there is. "It was just a joke (insert gender specific insult here), chill out!" If you try to make a humorous comment to someone and they don't laugh then it wasn't funny. If they were upset by it then it was not a joke. Your intentions are meaningless to the person whose feelings you just hurt. The correct response is to apologize and hope they're big enough to accept and move on.

While I have no stats to back this up I'm convinced that 80% of fights on social media are started by one person trying to make a snide remark hoping to get a laugh and not getting the reaction they hoped for. While I'm willing to accept that not all mean comments are meant to make someone feel bad that very often happens. The reason is that you can't just fire off snark at total strangers on a platform where text is the only means of conveying messages. Without hearing the inflection in your voice and seeing the expression on your face the meaning of your comment is left very much up to interpretation by the recipient. If they're having a bad day or have had issues dealing with bullies in the past then they are not going to respond favorably to your "joke." Don't get mad at them, apologize and move on with your day. If laughs truly are what you're after then that won't be an issue. Comedians understand when their jokes fall of deaf ears or touch on a nerve and omit those jokes from their act. If you continue to use those same jokes regardless of the number of negative reactions you get then you're a bully. Straight up.

I have one very simple rule when it comes to dealing with people on social media. If the person I targeted my joke to didn't find it funny then it wasn't a joke. My ego isn't worth the stress, aggravation and anger I am going to cause in both of us trying to double down and make the person accept my joke for what I want them to. I can't tell them: "Hey bruh, chill the fuck out. It was a joke. Why you mad bruh? Why you mad?" I made them mad, however unintentionally and the onus is on me to de-escalate the situation.

Don't tell people how to react to you. You never had that right.

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