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bromopar

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If Star Wars VII sucks, don't blame JJ. Blame yourselves.

Nov 28, 2015
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The closer we get to Dec. 18th the greater the pit of dread opens up. The new trailers are flashy and fun but they have no real substance, nothing worth really talking about. A lot of questions with few answers, if any which to be honest is probably the way it should be. However, despite how closely J.J. and crew have been playing this one to the vest enough has leaked out that I am NOT encouraged.

1: T.I.E. Fighters can not fly in an atmosphere. This was well established in the expanded universe many times over, especially in the Rouge/Wraith Squadron series of books. Not only that but it should be plainly obvious to anyone with a basic knowledge of aerodynamics why this is the case. For one they have no wings, nothing to generate lift. Not only that but those solar panels one either side would generate so much drag when the craft tried to turn that it would become unstable and probably just fall out of the sky and crash. Many times in the books the authors talked about this and even went so far as to say that in combat the only way a T.I.E. Fighter could dodge enemy fire was to fly up and down. This reason more than any other was probably why George Lucas NEVER showed T.I.E.'s flying in an atmosphere. J.J. on the other hand is clearly going for shock value rather than realism. Someone needs to remind him why the word "science" is in the front of the term "science fiction."

2: The Rebellion Apparently failed. Now for the moment this is only speculation and it will be a HUGE relief if this turns out to not be true. However, right now we have every indication that the Empire remained alive and well for these thirty years despite every indication from George and company that it was going to fail after Emperor Palpatine's death. This tells me that J.J. decided to play it safe and simply make a new version of what we have already seen three times before. But I completely disagree that a desperate struggle between the under dog Resistance and the powerful New Order is what we need. We need the story to continue as it was meant to. A new Republic rising from the ashes of the fallen Empire which is desperately trying to regain lost power and glory. This is what we had in the Expanded universe because IT MADE SENSE. That was the direction the story was going in. To take a huge departure from that course would be disastrous but that's probably going to be what we get. Why? because of you, mr. and mrs. superfan.

Let me take a moment to explain what I mean. For nearly twenty years fans have been bitching, moaning, crying, whining and screaming over and over again about the Star Wars S.E. movies as well as the prequel trilogy. Any fan who stands up for the new movies immediately gets hounded and told how many ways they're wrong. The fandom simply refuses to accept that their favorite franchise could ever have a bad movie made about it. J.J. just so happens to be one of those fans. Therefore, he's going to make you the movie you wanted. This is not a good thing. As I mentioned in my last Star Wars blog we're older now. We have different expectations about how stories are told. Our tastes are more refined and we're a lot more informed about the world around us than we were thirty years ago. In your desperation to relive your childhood you demanded a movie that was at least as good as the movies you remembered. When you didn't get it you cried foul. Tough shit. You aren't going to get it now.

3: Disney doesn't have to make a good Star Wars movie. The executives at Disney are already acutely aware of the fact that one of the top five highest grossing movies of all time is Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. They don't care if J.J. makes a good movie or not. They know damn well all they have to do is make a movie under the monikor of Star Wars and they'll just print money. It's already worked with all the ticket presales that crashed Fandango's website. When Dec. 18th happens it's only going to get worse.

4: Yes, J.J. made Star Trek. He also made Star Trek Into Darkness. Star Wars fans love to pine on about how successful the Star Trek reboot was and as a Star Trek fan I can attest to just how great that movie really was. However, as a Star Trek fan I also saw Into Darkness which SUCKED. Also don't forget about the ho-hum Cloverfield which wasn't well received at all. This was the number one reason why I didn't want J.J. to direct the new Star Wars movie. If Episode VII turns out to be as bad as Into Darkness... Well all I'm going to say is if you thought the uproar about the prequel trilogy was bad you ain't seen nothing yet.

And this leads me back to the fandom. The superfans. The ones who spent all those years crying about Star Wars and how much George Lucas ruined it. "Han shot first!" and "Hayden Christansen ruined Darth Vader!" If you're one of the fans who honestly believes those things you better get the fuck ready because I'm going to have a lot to say to your ass after this one is said and done.

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