My friend @adelina got into a conversation with someone and somehow the concept of Jesus with a vagina came up. The other person's response was to announce that it was profane. When asked to explain themselves they simply repeated: "Its profane! How could it not be?" This started a whole discussion about why emasculating men was never okay but masculinizing (is that even a word?) women was perfectly acceptable. Personally I have to think it comes down to men's incredible obsession with genitals.
We've all heard the phrases: "I've got balls!" "I've got a dick the size of a station wagon." Men for whatever reason have created this standard where the size of their genitalia is equal to their self worth. If you're courageous, strong, good at sports then you're a man with big balls regardless of how big or small they may actually be. Very often times these standards are placed on men by other men who have never seen your genitals and have no interest in actually seeing them. This is ironic because they talk about them constantly. Its almost impossible to have a conversation with another man before genitals get injected somehow. Genital size is literally the primary factor determining social status among men. It doesn't matter what you do or how you start the conversation. Run a marathon? Discover a new planet? Build a house? If you excel at anything considered manly you are given the status of having a big dick and big balls whether you want it or not.
And what if you don't? "Quit being a pussy!" "Why you gotta be such a bitch?" That's right, the opposite of having big balls isn't having little balls (Although that does come up, its far less common) it's having female genitalia. This is most likely because in masculine society women aren't allowed to be better than men at anything considered manly. If you're a man who isn't good at sports you're told to get in the kitchen, wear a dress and get called a pussy by every other man desperate to be accepted as a man by their peers. The worst insult one man can levy at another is calling them a woman.
The worst part of this whole equation is that your status in male society isn't determined by you, the male in question. You have to constantly re affirm your manhood to your male friends who can challenge you any day in any number of ways. Sadly, the most common of these is bullying and fighting. You'd think it would be enough to catch the football that won the championship for your team but it's not. Some yahoo, somewhere will try to prove they're more manly than you by putting you down or threatening you. If you can respond with insults in kind or by swinging your fists then you are a man. If you walk away then your accomplishments mean nothing, you're considered weak and weak means girly. Worst of all your male friends will do nothing to back you up. You're on your own. You have to face down your challenger "like a man." or they will turn on you and remove your status with the group. "Turn in your man card!"
In the navy I had one such person who would rail on me constantly. Every day he would tell me I was a loser, that I couldn't do anything right. He always found a reason to pick on me and he even threatened to beat me up every chance he got. Why did he do this? Because he could. I asked our superiors to do something about it and I was told: "Quit being a pussy, kick his ass!" When I told them I didn't want to fight I was brushed off and nothing was ever done. No one ever stood up for me because according to them if I wouldn't fight him then I had no balls, I was a pussy. According to them I had to face him on my own and I didn't deserve to have any help, even the help I was due under letter of the UCMJ. I hate fighting in anger, I've done it too many times and I refuse to do it anymore. But my feelings didn't matter, if I wanted it to stop no one was going to do anything unless I proved myself by fighting. It wasn't until I left the ship that I was finally granted some peace from that monster.
Until we give up this idea that genitalia have everything to do with our value as a person these problems are never going to go away. We need to be able to speak for ourselves, support one another regardless of our opinion of the other person's social status and most importantly of all we need to allow our accomplishments to be celebrated no matter what our gender. It doesn't take balls to be a good person. It takes love and tolerance.
