I am stitting on the toilet in the bathroom writing this blog right now. NO I am not taking a poo, I just came in here because its quiet and I need to think, and of course this is where my "special friend" lives. I came in here today because of the fucking internet. I stumbled across someone's webpage that I havent been to in a long time and it just put me in a very....bad state of mind. Took me back a few years and made me feel like shit all over again. I love the internet, I hate the internet. All of the worlds knowldge in one place, but all of the worlds pain and everything that is wrong with the planet condensed into one word....internet.
I think that my level of introspection is unusually high compared to normal people my age. I usually love it and I wouldnt change a single thing about it, but right now all I want to be is mentally retarded and not have to deal with the bullshit that life sometimes throws in my way with no notice. I guess this is just a part of life. In a way feeling this bad makes me feel good, because if something can make me hurt like that, then it must have been really good at one point, and can only get better. which it has. mucho bettero. fucking internet. haha.
I dont know why I let insignificant little peon's of my past life still muck up my mental state in my current life. I guess it is because deep down I feel for everything and everyone even if it is not returned. The golden rule bitches...treat others how you wish to be treated. I want to be loved, so I try to love but sometimes people dont understand that I love very weird. You folks that read this get it...you know what's up, what's down, what's with it and where it's at. I love weird but you know you wouldnt have it any other way.
buuubbbllleeeeebuuuuuubbbbllllllleeeeeebuuuubbbbbllllleeeeeeeecouuuugggghhhhhcooooouuugghhhhh
much better.
you whores you.
too bad more people dont live by that rule.
I will end this blog with a question. I was offered a job to be a bar back at an irish pub in a super super touristy area. It would only be for a few nights a week and I really dont want to quit the bowling alley. I dig it there. Its fun. But I would make really good money in that one or two days a week at the pub. The bar tips out 20% to the backs so they said it would be roughly 200-500 a night depending on the season. The only thing is I would have to take out my earrings and shave and cover tattoos (like I said, super touristy area). Should I give up my freedom of individuality one or two nights a week to make a lot of money and work at an irish pub?
Ready.......go.
(Notice how this started from sad to ending on a positive note? Special friend....yummy.)
I think that my level of introspection is unusually high compared to normal people my age. I usually love it and I wouldnt change a single thing about it, but right now all I want to be is mentally retarded and not have to deal with the bullshit that life sometimes throws in my way with no notice. I guess this is just a part of life. In a way feeling this bad makes me feel good, because if something can make me hurt like that, then it must have been really good at one point, and can only get better. which it has. mucho bettero. fucking internet. haha.
I dont know why I let insignificant little peon's of my past life still muck up my mental state in my current life. I guess it is because deep down I feel for everything and everyone even if it is not returned. The golden rule bitches...treat others how you wish to be treated. I want to be loved, so I try to love but sometimes people dont understand that I love very weird. You folks that read this get it...you know what's up, what's down, what's with it and where it's at. I love weird but you know you wouldnt have it any other way.
buuubbbllleeeeebuuuuuubbbbllllllleeeeeebuuuubbbbbllllleeeeeeeecouuuugggghhhhhcooooouuugghhhhh
much better.
you whores you.
too bad more people dont live by that rule.
I will end this blog with a question. I was offered a job to be a bar back at an irish pub in a super super touristy area. It would only be for a few nights a week and I really dont want to quit the bowling alley. I dig it there. Its fun. But I would make really good money in that one or two days a week at the pub. The bar tips out 20% to the backs so they said it would be roughly 200-500 a night depending on the season. The only thing is I would have to take out my earrings and shave and cover tattoos (like I said, super touristy area). Should I give up my freedom of individuality one or two nights a week to make a lot of money and work at an irish pub?
Ready.......go.
(Notice how this started from sad to ending on a positive note? Special friend....yummy.)
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
yummy:
I say go ahead, I don't think altering appearance is too big a deal. And maybe that money will allow you to express yourself more in the future.
evilangel:
Tough spot...the money would be nice. I have always refused to take out my piercings and/or cover my tattoos. I won't lie, it has cost me a few jobs, but it's a choice you have to make...Good luck! 