brokenbroken

I'm such a loser. why did i sign up for this thing? i'm having a crisis of belief here on a porn site that i paid a whole years worth for. God tests and i fail. time and time again... i fail. he has an infinate love while mine has been squeezed to it's final ounce and i feel like i could never love him or anyone else or even myself for that matter. but he really never gives you anything you can't handle and besides i'm really not living to the fullest. a phrase that, until today, i thought meant doing every sin imaginable. but now i see that it means if your going to do anything in life.. you should do it all the way or don't do it. i have to start being a christian for real because really... what else is there? what assurance do i have if i don't have christ?