So Yesterday was something nice an painful all at the same time...
Times like that, that you can't think clearly an ur heart is over whealmingly in controul, no matter how hard you fight it an try to keep it togeather ur heart continues to take over an ur franticly trying to put that wall of protection together as it crumbless before you.
An you want so bad to just let go an fall into ur emotions an grip him, rip ur clothes off push him up against the wall an give into everything ur feeling an wanting..
But ur to fucking scared....... So afraid feeling so week.. Thinking ur being week by fighting ur feelings that giving in would be the strong thing cause of how scary it is u would be looking fear in the face an saying fuck you fear. My heart is his an why should I fight it.
But also feeling that giving in would be an act of weekness allowing ur self to be open to the possible pain of having ur heart broken. So what did I do I fought it..
But all I can keep thinking is I wish I hadent.. I wanted to just kiss the fuck out of him rip his clothes off rip off mine throw him down on my bed go wild an rape him. Huhhh sigh..
Wish I had, had the guts to do an say everything I was thinking an feeling at the time.. But I once again let fear get the best of me...
What the HELL is wrong with me.. I hate holding back an over thinking things like that when he's standing ther right infront of me.. LIFE IS TO FUCKING SHORT TO HOLD BACK BECAUSE OF FEAR.
I just hope I did the right thing an that I see him again because of it.
Times like that, that you can't think clearly an ur heart is over whealmingly in controul, no matter how hard you fight it an try to keep it togeather ur heart continues to take over an ur franticly trying to put that wall of protection together as it crumbless before you.
An you want so bad to just let go an fall into ur emotions an grip him, rip ur clothes off push him up against the wall an give into everything ur feeling an wanting..
But ur to fucking scared....... So afraid feeling so week.. Thinking ur being week by fighting ur feelings that giving in would be the strong thing cause of how scary it is u would be looking fear in the face an saying fuck you fear. My heart is his an why should I fight it.
But also feeling that giving in would be an act of weekness allowing ur self to be open to the possible pain of having ur heart broken. So what did I do I fought it..
But all I can keep thinking is I wish I hadent.. I wanted to just kiss the fuck out of him rip his clothes off rip off mine throw him down on my bed go wild an rape him. Huhhh sigh..
Wish I had, had the guts to do an say everything I was thinking an feeling at the time.. But I once again let fear get the best of me... What the HELL is wrong with me.. I hate holding back an over thinking things like that when he's standing ther right infront of me.. LIFE IS TO FUCKING SHORT TO HOLD BACK BECAUSE OF FEAR.
I just hope I did the right thing an that I see him again because of it.
metalcraft137:
iim sure you made the right choice, although getting rapped by a girl doest sound so bad.