brittymon

wow! those pictures are gorgeous!

aaaaahhhhhh, i need you!! come back on! I feel sooo shitty right now =/

i know, thats why i wanted to talk to youbecause i knwo you of all people would understand and wouldnt make me feel liek a loser lol

and i like shittybritty

yea idk i dont do much either cuz being as i just got out of the koo koo house awhile ago i think the parentals think im gonna go back into a donwards spiral again if i start doing thinggs regularly-which makes NO sense because before i was committed i was in the house for 3 weeks straight. Mad bacwards. But w.e.

haha i'd so help u rob drug store-fuck that my dude, lets move on to HOSPITALS lol. Thats big pimping lmao

Ok so we're gonna shoot a set together if its the last thing i do. Hopefully we'll both be SG by the time i get enopugh money to go over tehre lol. I've never been ANYWHERE and id love to go to Cali arrgh. New York city aint shit if you have no money like me lol

Firstly-ID BEAT! I have a huge girl crush on you to be honest

Secondly-dont feel like you want to die for aesthetic reason!!! ID what illness or whatever you have but i know a thing or two about wanting to die. Like 2 months ago i was committed for an alleged suicide attemp (i ODed on albuterol, in hopes that itd make me pass out because i couldnt stop thinking about negative, painful things). Before i was committed i was in bed for 3 weeks straight, not once leaving the house-i'd jsut cry all day and wait for him to text me. Pathetic. Im on Prozac and Trazadone now and honestly it hasnt helped one bit. And the sad truth is most of it was over a boy, who caused me to feel worse about myself than i EVER have-its still happening and is honestly getting worse every single day. I cant stop thinking about him-every little thing leads back to him and i feel like shit all the time and it sucks.

The one good thing that came from it though is that im trying to improve my self body image-i want to do SG. The diff is im waiting untill im comfortable with my body (in my case, having it in better shape). Excercising totally makes me feel 100% better-but i digresce.

i guess im just trying to say that i kinda know how you feel, and it really sucks so no, you arent annoying and honestly i cant blame you for complaining.

Everyiobne says im beAUtiful etc such and such but when i see pics of myself, i see a monster. So idk how well it'll go when i actually begin to do shoots, but im not giving up. Its truth-noone loves me because i dont love myself yet

Thirdly-DONT KILL YOURSELF. KNow why??/ BEcause i dont even know you but im genuinely concerned and i want to get to know you-forrealzies. You seem like sucha cool girl-you are so sexy and adorable and i wanna take pics with you and of you! (i mean that in the most NOT creepy way lol).

I admit i really need someone to be there to pick me up when i hit rock bottom (and that happens alot) and i know u feel the same way and i damn sure want to be tehre for you. Seriously. I want you to hit me up as soon as you read this and tell me how ur feeling

-Shani

like i saw these pics when i first stumbled across your profile and all i thought was "omg shes so sexy! i wanna beat!!"

and thats the 110% truth, no gassing it lol
-Shani