brittymon

Thankyou everyone who keeps up with me n all, especially when i get all depressed..uh
i had just woken up from sleeping 18 hours straight feeling anxious and all dry without any znzax...
this morning i took some pill. ones i youto take all the time back when my nerapathy was bad. alls i thought was oh these yousto make things feel better...being as depresses as i have been i took it without even thinking. i swear im such a dumbass... i actually forgot i took it untill i started puking i kept trying to figure what i did or ate.then i started looking at the cealing noticing i was hallucinating a bit... and when i looked in the mirror my eyes were diolated...still are. uh. i wondered...then eventually my mind pin pointed how dumb i am...oh yeah those little stupid green pills! i only had one but i was puking and puking and puking...i threw away all my old pills. and continued to dry heave for a few hours. i thought i was gonna die this morning. it always worrys me when i cant stop dry heaving and cant keep water down and my stomachs in blinding pain...i think what reminded me of dyeing is the kidney pain. when those hert to i really start to think im gonna die... This too shall pass my mind trys to tell me...i really should get that rite on my arm so i can stear at it when times like that come... i couldnt will myself to sleep. because i had slept 18 hours before... the suffering... ow my stomach still herts alot. and im still all neaushous and anxous and my eyes are still diolated... at least i didnt die this morning. the time doesnt feel right to go now.... this is why i dont like to talk about myself much...i just bring people down with my horribly dumb ass luck (luck isnt real its just a figment of our imaginations like time)