brittymon

today i woke up and i guess my neck is like stuck
i can move it to the right at all without serous pain
when i went to the hospital two nights ago they told me i also have cronic back pain.
i serosly thought it was my kidneys
but i believe it
i fell off a house once on my back.
i really fucked up that bush i landed on...and it landed in my back some.

i guess i have gotten quite chubby.
im like a chub monster...
freekin diabetes's
ever sense i died and went into my coma n all that
my body hasn't been the same
my feet are numb
always
its nerve problems. from lack of blood flow. damage from dyeing
its called diabetic nerapathy
witch makes it very hard to exercise
and eating right requires money
good food is expensive

ive been stretching though...i aloways do
and i try to keep my sugars right
because infection comstantly feeds on me
just like those damn mosquitos...im just soooo sweet!
or like the yeast but lets not talk of that...*shutter*

i apopgise for my short rant...
im not complaining without tryig to fix it.
i do try
every damn day
thats why im still even alive
thats why i still make art
and thats why i still make photos

if this was lets say even 100 years ago.
id so be dead

so what?
does that mean its destiny that im here
that im ment for better things???

nah...
its all flook luck n shit.
im still here because the doctors told me im what they call a "fighter"
i was kicking scratching cussing and spitting when my so called flame almost went out
late december of 06.
the year of hell, the year i graduated
and i guess 07 was the year i was saved
the year i was informed and found love
real love



thats a good enough reason to be alive
that
and to smoke a whole lotta weed!!!!!!
weed make me feel so good
so not sickly
not naushous
its okay! im medical!

im doing better now.....emotionally
ill get maryann to help me do a better set.
maybe indoors
and maybe featuring drawing or something of mine
back to the drawing board
blahhhh