britney

........ Remind me never to read my mom's letters about my burn ever again...... Oh my god! Talk about heart wrenching!... It brings me right back to the event as if it were yesturday. And then instantly I go from being pretty cool about the whole thing to scared shitless all over again ....

For example..... A few days ago I'm all hanging out at Tina's house, doing knife hits in the kitchen.... It's a small kitchen and they closed it completely off with doors so the kids couldn't come in..... I'm sitting there happy as could be when suddenly I get sorta thinking about the big hot red burning stove.... I don't know if it was that, or the excessive heat in there, or the smoke in the air, or the huge combo, but suddenly I have what I can only nail down as a total panic attack...... I started getting dizzy, and then lil black spots started blocking my view..... I felt myself go ghost white, and thats when they looked at me all crazy and asked if I was all right.... So I start heading across the kitchen to the chair to sit when suddenly I can't feel anything and it all just goes black.... And to top it off on my way down I almost hit the red hot stove (that would have been shitty irony) and instead cracked my head smack on the door frame ..... After they got me in the chair and with cold waterand I got my heart back to normal, I felt way better.... Meanwhile everyones freaking, cause I guess Tina was sure I was getting ready to have a seizure, and no body wanted me to go anywhere Crazy god damn times!
Fucking, I hate fire..... I hate stoves..... I hate having to hate it all

I think it's all cause my 2 year anniversary of that day is this Saturday..... Every year I think it's no big deal.... But last year I had a total mental break down over it!..... I dunno, we'll see!.... This year I'm gonna spend it driving to Seattle.... Which will be ok unless the passes are bad, and then I get this crazy notion that I am gonna die cause I was meant to die on that day or something.... I dunno, Brians are crazy powerful mother fuckers!............. Once I get to Seattle though it's all good cause then I'm shopping my ass off with Caleb (or rather he is) YAY! can't wait

ANYWAYS! That concludses this edition of crazy britney and her quirky ass issues! Much love!