As some of you may know I was suppose to go in for heart surgery towards the end of this month. Just over a week ago I received bad news, and although I wasn't ready to speak about it I am now.
I suffer from Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome also known as POTS. It is a Autonomic Disorder that messes with the Autonomic Nervous system. When i stand up all the blood pools at the bottom of my body causing me to pass out. My heart beats double the amount of beats if I have an attack and causes me to pass out or just feel extremely tired. There is nothing that can cure this and I shall have to live with with for the rest of my life. It messes with more than just my heart, it messes with my body temperature, my stomach and anything in your body that you have no control over. Eventually it shall end up into heart disease or heart failure.
What was suppose to be a DR visit discussing surgery to cure my heart condition turned into a visit telling me I cannot be cured. I can only be given medication to make my life more easier. Maybe in 10 or 15 years I might be living my life fully on the sofa or in bed or maybe in a wheel chair depending on if these pills help or maybe I might live a full happy life with some restrictions.
I wasn't ready to speak out about it and I did have a week of lots of thinking and planning. I just want everyone to know this isn't going to stop my modeling, this isn't going to stop my goal of becoming an official Suicide Girl.
Life shall go on until I cannot go on anymore
