brit

you know that scene in mary poppins where the children write the nanny job spec and then their father rips it up and it gets sucked up the chimney. well after a large joint my (incidentally obscenely attractive) flatmate and i thought it may be interesting to do the same.
___________________________________________

wanted: MAN

must not be threatened by a powerful strong willed woman, must not be easily bullied either.

equally must not find strength attractive just because he wants to be mothered.

no emotional fuckwittage. having 'issues' isnt cool, we all have problems. you are supposed to work through them not use them as excuses for being an arsehole.

a beard would be nice, but a good beard, not some straggly long thing. nor a craig david number.

tattoos are good. i personally dont like flesh tunnels, i find them icky.

should understand the power of simple things such as flowers and doing the washing up.

chivalry is NOT dead. opening doors is cool.

must not use the word sorry unless aware what he is apologising for.

better still never do anything which requires an apology.

clean hair, nails, teeth and bedclothes. i would not want to get dirty where its already soiled.

cigarrettes look cool. its true. but they are make hands and mouths smell vile.

the offer of a cup of tea can almost always produce a semi-orgasmic 'oooooh'

dates must make me feel like i'm in a film.

must like cats.

the usuals: honesty, dignity, loyalty.

if you speak/write in text/SMS type or wRiTe LiKe ThIs don't even bother. i adore the english language. if you aren't english its natural that you cant get everything right, but if you R just 2 lazy or think itz cool, you and i wont last a second.

intelligence is fucking hot. you dont have to be academic to have intelligence.

must like good food.

just because you dont like a type of music or a band does not automatically make them shit. it just means you dont like them. get over yourself.

you dont get the whore until the girl has been respected like a true lady.

tardiness will not be tolerated.

must like scrabble.

coccaine is powdered ego. therefore i tend to avoid it. i also tend to dismiss myself from any evening if my otherwise lovely friends start snorting.

must listen for instruction if required as if you try and roll over and sleep before i'm done you'll be hobbling out the door.

if you make plans, you keep to them. or organise a reschedule with polite warning.

good kisser essential. none of this poking tongue business, nor face sucking. proper knee trembling kissing.



APPLICATION INSTRUCTIONS:
apply via the contact tab on the left, in letter form and you may include a cv should you fancy. dont bother just writing 'i have a big cock' as we all know, yes size can be important but if that's all you have to offer then its a sad state of affairs.


alternatively, any hot ladies who fancy a dirty fuck. let me know *evil grin*

xb