So here are my new career dreams:
Hippie
PRO:
- I can be the crazy socialist I've always wanted to be!
- Communal living means lots of free love and getting others to do the chores I hate.
- You can't OWN the land, man.
- Illegal substances...
- I'll never have to wash my hair again!
CON:
- But... but... but... I want my own stuff. Like what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine!
- B.O. mixed with patchouli - ew.
- Wanting to stay in a luxury hotel or eat a double bacon cheeseburger is a no go.
Porn Star
PRO:
- YAY sexy time!
- I can walk around naked all the time and flash my boobs and no one will care.
- The potential to market yourself in ridiculous ways, like "Buy my prosthetic butt!"
- The hours filming seem rather reasonable, and the film turnover rate looks good.
CON:
- I'd have to get coked-out anorexic.
- I don't really like glued in hair extensions and glued on long nails.
- There would be bound to be people I'd have to sleep with that would be gross, or smell like B.O.-chouli. (Ever smell a porn shop - like that but a million times worse).
Singer
PRO:
- I would get paid to do what I do in the car/shower currently for free!
- Fame, money, people to do my hair and makeup for me (dreamcometrue!)
- I could artistically collaborate with a lot of very talented people.
- Finally an excuse to practice my guitar/keyboard more.
CON:
- Kid's choice anything.
- Being lumped into a category where some very lucky but untalented people are.
- Any screw up goes on YouTube.
Being poor and overeducated is just not cutting it for me any more. I want to be dumb and fun!
So what are your adapted "When I Grow Up Goals for the Grown-Up"?
Feel free to add yours and suggest more pros and cons for mine.
Hippie
PRO:
- I can be the crazy socialist I've always wanted to be!
- Communal living means lots of free love and getting others to do the chores I hate.
- You can't OWN the land, man.
- Illegal substances...
- I'll never have to wash my hair again!
CON:
- But... but... but... I want my own stuff. Like what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine!
- B.O. mixed with patchouli - ew.
- Wanting to stay in a luxury hotel or eat a double bacon cheeseburger is a no go.
Porn Star
PRO:
- YAY sexy time!
- I can walk around naked all the time and flash my boobs and no one will care.
- The potential to market yourself in ridiculous ways, like "Buy my prosthetic butt!"
- The hours filming seem rather reasonable, and the film turnover rate looks good.
CON:
- I'd have to get coked-out anorexic.
- I don't really like glued in hair extensions and glued on long nails.
- There would be bound to be people I'd have to sleep with that would be gross, or smell like B.O.-chouli. (Ever smell a porn shop - like that but a million times worse).
Singer
PRO:
- I would get paid to do what I do in the car/shower currently for free!
- Fame, money, people to do my hair and makeup for me (dreamcometrue!)
- I could artistically collaborate with a lot of very talented people.
- Finally an excuse to practice my guitar/keyboard more.
CON:
- Kid's choice anything.
- Being lumped into a category where some very lucky but untalented people are.
- Any screw up goes on YouTube.
Being poor and overeducated is just not cutting it for me any more. I want to be dumb and fun!
So what are your adapted "When I Grow Up Goals for the Grown-Up"?
Feel free to add yours and suggest more pros and cons for mine.
- Actually, you're pretty dead on the mark with that one.
On Porn Star:
- You could always be a curvy porn star in lesbian porn, which would not do away with but maybe seriously decrease the risk of B.O.-chouli. Plus, you'd get to work with Daphne Rosen and Gianna Michaels and all those other names I really shouldn't be admitting to knowing.
- You could always do solo webgirl porn. Find an audience that appreciates you without coking out or getting anorexic, and choose what (and/or who) you do on camera. Probably (read: definitely) be a lot less money in it, but still... sexy time and money.
NEW CON:
- Once people know they can find a video of you using a vibrator or taking a moneyshot across the kisser, it pretty much precludes your being a star on a major network sitcom.
I think Singer would be good.
- Actually, I've got an idea I should talk to you about some time on that end.
- And as for YouTube, the secret is to have your own YouTube channel and put EVERYTHING on it. Then, when a screw-up gets posted, it's part of your self-effacing sense of humor that makes you a fan favorite of the online community. Instead of, "look at the pop/rock/[whatever] star who didn't want this to get out."
As for my list... I'll work on that and get back to you.