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bridgetwnpeddler

P-Town

Member Since 2003

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Wednesday Apr 26, 2006

Apr 26, 2006
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You know that list of major life stressors? The things that can just push people over the edge...

I feel like I am a living experiment in how many can be piled on at once before you crack.

1. Bought my first new home. My mortgage payment is $800 more per month that my rent was. Can I make it? What kind of lifestyle will I have. It is right at the edge for me.

2. Girlfriend trouble. Oh my... is this the right relationship for me? I am starting to have serious doubts right when she thinks it is a great idea to move into the new house with me. Of course she has nothing to contribute financially to the household because she is virtually on the edge of bankruptcy.

3. Job... Oh I have been over this a hundred times since we were acquired by UPS. Good pay, very unhappy and dissatisfied. I have a job interview this week with a company I have thought I would really want to work for. But recently have heard some bad things... pile on the doubts and stress. Do I sit tight in the boring/dissatisfying job secure in the fact that the mortgage will be paid and the bonuses are good or do I reach out for another right when I am so stressed about $$ re: the house?

4. As though all that was not enough. Yesterday my favorite Uncle died on his way to work. On a motorcycle and a car pulled out in front of him and he died in the accident. He was really more like a brother than a Uncle since he was only 5 years older than I.

sigh...

I just feel like I want to run away. Hop in the car, top down to a cabin at the beach take some hot beauty with me for a weekend of pure hedonism and debauchery...

I just want to escape it.

sigh.... blackeyed
lyris:
Here's something you don't want to hear: This too shall pass. I know it doesn't help in the moment (believe me, this past year has been the most stressful I've ever encountered... ever), but if you can internaize it, then it is valuable. Remember that you are not beholen to anyone or anything that you do not want to be beholden to. The one thing that everyone I trust for wisdom has said is "do what you love and the money will come." You have a house and a mortgage and that's fucking scary, because it means that you have to make sure you can take care of yourself. But do not use it as an excuse to stiffle yourself. You gave yourself an incredible gift: a home. But you have to be able to use it. Escape! Do! But use the weekend away to get some perspective on all of this shit, so that it doesn't feel so overwhelming because you're not crushed under it at the moment.

I'll stop pestering you. If you need a drink, i have time and an excuse.
Apr 28, 2006

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