bria

I've had a stomach ache for about 14 hrs. now. Mind you I am not the kind of person who get wierd stomach things. I think I need to fast or something.

The dogs are quiet. It's almost four in the morning and I'm home. Home from my shitty flight and home from the middle of the midwest.
Seeing my family was good. I get so used to being away from anyone who has an opinion of me. Here I'm around friends and acquaintances, no one to really be disappointed in me. There I go back to...
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My kitchen is filled with paper towels soaked with my blood. I really need to get a new set of knives.

Why do I always order two spring rolls when I NEVER eat the second one. Apply this question to my life in general and you get the answer. TOO much is better than not enough in my psyche. I really wish I wasn't like that.

My house is fuckin trashed right now. I'm too lazy to clean it so I just sit here eating a muffin and the leftover fruit salad he made for me yesterday. I can't believe he's already fucking gone. Five days of great sex and kissing and hugging and getting to be one half of a couple. lots of coffee, a few fights, a better understanding...
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I am a bad yoga student. I spent most of the class alternating thinking about food and making out with the girl behind me.

Only five more days!!! I'm so bored with my life here!! I don't want to go out because every nite is the same. I'm sick of staying home. Only so much time I can spend with two dogs before I feel like the crazy dog lady.
I am so sick of bartending most of the time. I see the exact same people every shift. It's...
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I'm gettin a new tattoo on Friday!!!

I am so bored tonite. Work sucked but at least I made good money. I'm so lonely without my man here. We've been back together two months and spent exactly two days together. I know it's real. I know he loves me. I don't even doubt it, which is an incredible feeling, but I need him here. A month before we see each other again...
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I don't know how long I can do this. I know I know I'm supposed to be a "self supporting person" and "true love will wait" and "time will tell"....blah blah. I need him with me, now. I need to be in his arms. I need to have him there. I feel safe when he's around. It's all stupid I know. I'm stronger than this....
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