bria

i write this to you bc it's always ben easier that way.....
You helped me. You comforted me when I didn't have the strength to go on. You held me while i cried and you took the burden of something you didn't think was your own problem. you turned the heat up so I would be warm and told me to stay in bed. We used to lay in your bed and watch tv. Drink our faces off and laugh all night. You stood up for me. You defended me and wanted me. I know your laugh when its real and youre happy...so goofy. so ridiculous. You kissed my forehead when we would wake up and I awoke every morning to you holding me tightly. You, in a short time, were everything I EVER wanted from a man. I dind't mind your boasting, or your other faults bc I saw right through you. I loved being part of your life. I loved walking into a room with you. I felt proud....I felt happy. Then it changed. You stopped caring. For me, for yourself, for life. i always knew you loved us both and that I could never be enough. You would always miss one of us. we both tried to take ourselves out of the equation at one point. Your charm, those eyes, that smile always drew us back. I say "us" but I can only speak for me. It drew me back. It made me miss you. You would look at me and I was done. there's something about you I need like water or air. but I'm gonna have to learn to be thirsty...to choke for the last gasp....it's over, and I wish you the best. I wish you more than I can even imagine right now. you won't know. you don't care. God I loved you....and I wish with my entire being I still didn't right now.....