brett_bretterson

Current Mood | Contemplative...again
Listening To | Nada

There's this Taoist (or Buddhist, I forget) saying that with every journey, the most important thing is not the path, but the destination. Sometimes, I get to wondering if I had taken a differnt path in life, where would I be? Would my destination ultimately be different or the same? I don't really know how I got to thinking about such intangables as these thoughts seemed rather unprovoked.

However, thoughts flooded my head as I was wondering (a la A Wonderful Life style...sorta) what would have happend had I made different choices in life. Like what would have happend had I decided to choose to be popular over being individualistic. Would I have had an easier time with the pheemails? Would I be able to tell the girl that I am hopelessly enamored with my true feelings, and my wants and desires. Would I still be sexually frustrated as I am? Would I even have the same friends that I do today?

What if I decided that I did want to get along with my family? Would that cause me to have the friends that I do now? Would I be happier? There would undoubetly be less conflict with my life, that's for sure.

And what if I had gone to Stanford out of High School instead of going the Community College route? How successful would I be? Would I be working right now, making tons of money? Or would I be a broken person, contemplating what I'm gonna do with my life (oh wait, I'm doing that right now...)?

I often catch myself pontificating great mysteries like this and I only wish that there WAS a way for me to see the outcomes had I made these decisions differently. My life would be sooo much more bearable and easier to live. Unfortunately though, I can't and I'm left just asking myself, what if? It's a horrible question to ask yourself, now that I think about it......