brds8myface

i see that the book survey never went as well as the music one, that is rather telling....*shakes finger as sg babes*
I am going through this odd self confidence deal. I am feeling like i am not pretty enough or successful as i had hoped to be. I am really not sure what this is all about. I have never really dwelled on my looks or performance so this is all new and way uncomfortable. I am obsessing about my wieght, my hair, my face, my clothes..i am nearly driving myself insane.
I remember laying in bed with her, I was starving, I hadn't eaten in days. I was waiting to wake up and for her to tell me I was beautiful, that i was hot and that i was what she wanted. I wanted her to say to me all the things that those who meant nothing to me allowed to spill out of their mouths.
I started cutting again and I went too deep last week. I was so mad the old coping tools weren't working so i went so deep that I need stitches, but i am too afraid to go to the doc. I am afraid to tell them what I did to myself. Seems the meds need to be adjusted...again