ugh!
i hate days like this. i was supposed to be productive today. i had a long list of shit that i was going to knock out..quick fast in a hurry (dont worry, flava-vision aint blurry).
but it never works like that.
my wife's ex-girlfriend and former roomate is in town for the weekend. the two of them and my son were going to go out hiking for a few hours, leaving me here to handle some things for my site. i wanted to put together some promotional pages for the DVD and work on some logo ideas for one of the girls. instead, i basically goofed off online all day. no motivation whatsoevah. meh.
and what sucks worse is that shes (slowly but increasingly) starting to bug me about putting together the DVD from her brother's wedding. see, i shot over 2 hours of footage and offered to make a nice DVD as a wedding gift for them. i have to digitize it all then wade through it all and make rough cuts, then process the footage and edit it then make the DVD and all this other shit. i am really starting to regret even offering to do it. but most of all i just hate having pressure from deadlines. once i get started doing it my OCD will take over and i will get lost in the production process. but now it just seems like yet another thing on my never ending list of shit to do.
i CAN work with deadlines, but i dont like them. i get deadlines at work. dont give em to me at home too.
and now i just got a call from a co-worker who needs me to help her put together a video clip for her brother's website and like a dumbass i offered to (maybe) do it tomorrow.
well on the good side, i got some really good shit from my photographer the other night at the shoot. we smoked some of it the other night and i was totally smacked (it even got me all emotioinal and shit to the point where i was crying like a lil bitch about something...but thats a story for another day). we still have some left and plan to spark it up later tonight. that shit usually keeps me awake and if the planets align in the right way, i can be pretty damn creative when i am high.
perhaps the best thing about today was the discussion we had earlier. we talked about a lot of shit but the thing that got to me the most was when she actually said that she knows i have so much more shit on my plate than she does. its not as though i want sympathy or a pity party. but sometimnes i feel pretty un-a-fuckin-preciated (to quote bruce willis in die hard) around here. as the only member of the household who is gainfully employed, managing a growing career in the adult industry on the side, and dealing with 3 kids by 3 women (one of whom is a certifiable bitch--the mother..not my child), it aint hard to understand why i can be moody, bitchy, tired, or (insert attitude here) on any given day. and even though i KNOW i am appreciated, its still nice to hear it.
i hate days like this. i was supposed to be productive today. i had a long list of shit that i was going to knock out..quick fast in a hurry (dont worry, flava-vision aint blurry).
but it never works like that.
my wife's ex-girlfriend and former roomate is in town for the weekend. the two of them and my son were going to go out hiking for a few hours, leaving me here to handle some things for my site. i wanted to put together some promotional pages for the DVD and work on some logo ideas for one of the girls. instead, i basically goofed off online all day. no motivation whatsoevah. meh.
and what sucks worse is that shes (slowly but increasingly) starting to bug me about putting together the DVD from her brother's wedding. see, i shot over 2 hours of footage and offered to make a nice DVD as a wedding gift for them. i have to digitize it all then wade through it all and make rough cuts, then process the footage and edit it then make the DVD and all this other shit. i am really starting to regret even offering to do it. but most of all i just hate having pressure from deadlines. once i get started doing it my OCD will take over and i will get lost in the production process. but now it just seems like yet another thing on my never ending list of shit to do.
i CAN work with deadlines, but i dont like them. i get deadlines at work. dont give em to me at home too.
and now i just got a call from a co-worker who needs me to help her put together a video clip for her brother's website and like a dumbass i offered to (maybe) do it tomorrow.
well on the good side, i got some really good shit from my photographer the other night at the shoot. we smoked some of it the other night and i was totally smacked (it even got me all emotioinal and shit to the point where i was crying like a lil bitch about something...but thats a story for another day). we still have some left and plan to spark it up later tonight. that shit usually keeps me awake and if the planets align in the right way, i can be pretty damn creative when i am high.
perhaps the best thing about today was the discussion we had earlier. we talked about a lot of shit but the thing that got to me the most was when she actually said that she knows i have so much more shit on my plate than she does. its not as though i want sympathy or a pity party. but sometimnes i feel pretty un-a-fuckin-preciated (to quote bruce willis in die hard) around here. as the only member of the household who is gainfully employed, managing a growing career in the adult industry on the side, and dealing with 3 kids by 3 women (one of whom is a certifiable bitch--the mother..not my child), it aint hard to understand why i can be moody, bitchy, tired, or (insert attitude here) on any given day. and even though i KNOW i am appreciated, its still nice to hear it.
You might need to take a day or two, get out of your usual routine and just veg out.