brakits0

I have decided to make use of this journal, aparently.

So I guess today I will discuss my confusion about suicide girls. This is not about the actual girls. It is about the community, the and the site.

So as a huge dork that probably wouldn't get the couragetalk to these beautiful women on the street even if I had a chance, I think it is wierd to have chat, and to read thier journals.

I am not really into stalking people. I don't have that emotional need in my life. So in that vein I read some journals and I am very touched by what I read. I even want to respond.

However I am intimidated by the sheer amount of people that post on most people's journals. When I have something to say, which is not that often, it is ethier profound or funny, but I feel like regardless what I say it would get lost.

Besides from the sheer number of people I would feel like just another asshole interweb geek trying to get attention from one more interweb camgirl. I have played that dynamic out to completion to many times allready and know that there is very little positivity that comes out of that.

So I guess I am confused by my own emotions of wanting to connect with someone who has inspired me or piqued my interest vs. the reality of the whole situation. It kind of makes me sad I guess.

I guess just not connecting with many people at all these days makes me sad, and the dilema I spoke of is just a symptom of it.

I just thought I would share.


-s