Before I Knew It, It was Too Late
I have recently written about not taking anyone for granted, for before you know it, that person may be gone and in a permanent way.
I lost one of my dearest friends on Memorial Day weekend. A Brother From Another Mother kind of best friend. His name was (and will remain) Randy and to mention everything that made him who he was, everything he doubted about himself, everything that made him a human of the best kind, would take more than the servers here could handle.
Last September, I returned to Alaska after 5 years. Randy was the friend that stepped up and let me stay at his place, the friend who was willing to drive me around (drives that several times took us an hour north of Anchorage). Just the kind of guy he was. As we often did when I was living in Alaska, we had some good, deep conversations. I will miss them. But neither of us missed the opportunity to express our gratitude for one another, for the friendship of decades and the positive things we brought into one another’s lives.
I was fortunate enough to be aware of the possibility of never seeing him again, and though we planned another visit of some kind or other, hopefully getting him to come to the East Coast, it was never to be. However, we did not part on anything but the best of terms, and I truly believe we said what needed to be said to one another, just in case.
Randy was in his 60s and not in the best health, though he had been making incredible in-roads towards better health since he had a heart attack about a year ago. Even before that he began taking care of himself spiritually. Randy and I both hear stage bums, taking part in many of a company’s shows, mostly Hallowe’en shows. At any rate, a friend we both met through these shows just happened to be a pastor, but wonderfully down-to-earth. We called him The Pastor Who Says ‘Fuck’!, annd he agreed that was accurate! It was this man who had long talks with Randy and without being pushed into it, Randy decided to go to his church.
Randy was baptized two weeks after I returned to North Carolina from that trip
I am glad that he is in A Better Place, as he surely deserved to be.
Randy will remain a series of great memories for me and so many others. He was a person who doubted his abilities often, whether it be acting or being a good friend and frequently felt himself unworthy of the friends he had. This lessened over the last several years, but doubts, like awful thoughts at night will come unbidden, always remained to a degree.
Always A Part Of What I’m Writing
Randy became an integral character in my years directing a group for a RenFaire, both in a creative way and as one of the actors. In fact, when I left the faire it was brought to my attention why my faire persona would leave the group and faire. I wrote up a three-part short story that told that tale, and Randy’s character was a part of it. This turned into the book I’ve been writing and Randy allowed me to use and write his character on one condition: that I kill him off. I figured out the best way to do this and he liked it so I wrote it up. This was before the rest of the story was written, mind, and his passing came towards the end of the story. Years later I returned to flesh out how it affected my character in the story. This part was written shortly after my brother Doug passed from cancer, so that raw emotion of loss, loss that was visited upon me again when Randy passed, was in those words.
If anyone wishes to read those passages and the aftermath, message me and I will send it through that media.
