‘Twas The Caturday Before Christmas
This is something I wrote 3 years ago. Since then, I have one new cat, Gigi having crossed the Rainbow Bridge. He is CC, or Cute Cat.
As the entire lower level of the house I own and share with my parents is mine, I have name it The Bradicombs. I state this here so that one may understand the reference to ‘the ‘Combs therein.
In honor of all the kitties named in the poem, here are JJ (Japolo Jr.) and the aforementioned CC, respectively.
And now, the poem itself:
‘Twas the Caturday before Christmas, when all through the ‘Combs
All the cat-kids were stalking the Christmas tree gnomes;
Who, when they were caught, were flung in the air,
Then the cats would ignore them, like they just didn’t care.
That night I was at rest, all tucked into my bed,
At least until JJ went to sleep on my head.
So, in the recliner I took a quick nap,
To awake to two cats, asleep on my lap.
Later, from the kitchen arose such a clatter,
I sprang down the hall to see what was the matter!
Into the kitchen at the end of the crash,
I slid therein quickly and witnessed a flash
Of cats disappearing like they didn’t know
How that stuff from the table came to be on the flo’
Then such to my wondering mind did appear,
The thought that those troublemakers could *poof!* disappear!
With a pan and a broom, I cleaned it up quick,
While the cats purred and nuzzled me, laying it on thick.
Still, at that moment to my mem’ry they came,
And I recalled with joy and recited their names:
“First Pumpkin, then Stardust and Fizzgigg, I say!
Then Simon, Japolo, Gigi and JJ!”
At the sound of their name, the cats heeded the call,
They wheedled and meowed and gave it their all,
Demanding that food be produced, like RIGHT NOW!
I heeded their catcall and got them some chow.
So back to my recliner, my tea and my book,
And comfort and quiet that quickly then took.
And then, in a moment, Gigi came to see
If I was comfy and my lap was empty.
As we lay there all snug, I was turning a page,
An attack from JJ had begun to engage
A cat fight on my legs, way to close to my WHOA!
Catsticuffs that close had me scream a loud NO!’
And up did I spring like mad Jack-in-the-box,
No way they were allowed to play close to those rocks!
A bundle of fur flew right off of that chair,
And cats flew away as I cursed at the pair!
Caught my breath and stood, then I checked all my parts.
I checked them twice; damage right there really smarts!
So, off to the kitchen and catbox I flew,
Time to clean out all those wet lumps and poo!
Too many kitties can mean way too much smell,
Especially if the catbox ain’t cleaned and cleaned well!
The lid off the ‘box and the scoop in one hand,
Bag out and ready I sifted through sand,
I deftly wielded and probed with that scoop
To eradicate all lumps and bits of cat poop.
Now patiently waiting to use their clean ‘box,
They start anew the catbox paradox!
Soon, Gigi begins to heed the ol’ call,
And that funky cat dance ends in a furball.
The deed was in front of me, so daring and bold!
At least I won’t step in it, so old and so cold!
As soon as she’s done, JJ is right there,
To attack the poor kitty and rip out more hair.
Once more I stand up and blast out two whistles,
And cats bound away, like damn feline missiles!
But I heard them meow, though they were out of sight,
Still, y’know, those two cats make my life very bright!
I hope it is the Happiest and Merriest Christmas yet for those who celebrate!
Be well and pax vobiscum!
