Well this is the fifth night that I have had trouble sleeping. Everytime I lay down to sleep I think of Jill in Marie's arms. People keep telling me that I will get over this. That it hurts right now and it gets better. I believe them but I dont know if I want to get over losing the love of my life. It is a very personal thing that some may understand but I believe many do not. I think this is why I have such a hard time talking to anyone about this. I have tried and people just tell me that it is puppy love and that I cant know what love is because I'm to young. But I say fuck them. How can they tell me that what I feel isnt enough to be love. I would lay down my life for Jill to live, even if it is with someone else. I just dont know what to do right now. I'm just hurting alot and dont know if I want to get over it. Becuase if I do im afraid it will feel like I have given up.
Well sorry all my journals are about sad things but that is what is going on in my life right now. I have began to make my preperations for Portland now. I hopefully should be there next fall. I'm really looking forward to it becuase it is a larger city with much more to do. I think that I will really like it.
Also I think im going to take a drawing class next semster because I want to get into tattooing. I have some artistic ability but will see after I actually try drawing for real. Ok well enough from me. Hope all is well with everyone else.
Well sorry all my journals are about sad things but that is what is going on in my life right now. I have began to make my preperations for Portland now. I hopefully should be there next fall. I'm really looking forward to it becuase it is a larger city with much more to do. I think that I will really like it.
Also I think im going to take a drawing class next semster because I want to get into tattooing. I have some artistic ability but will see after I actually try drawing for real. Ok well enough from me. Hope all is well with everyone else.
[Edited on Nov 09, 2004 10:21AM]