boy_named_sue

Well Jill moved into her girlfriends place today. Which means that we will not but talking as much as we normally do. Because Marie her girlfriend doesnt like me very much. She thinks that I stole Jill from her, which I didn't. I knew that it was going to be hard for me to hear from her in SF, but I wasnt sure how hard. It is really tearing my up inside. I love her very much and I want her to be happy there. Although I wish she could have been happy with me. I still have hope that she will realize how much I love her and how much she loves me and eventually come back to me.

When we talk on the phone she doesnt like it when I ask if she thinks that she will ever come back to me. I can see why she doesnt like it but I'm so afraid that she will forget about me. I really miss her very much.

She was the only person that has ever made me feel comfortable with myself. When we were together I had no fear about the future like I did before I met her. Because with her even if I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life I knew that it would be ok because she would be there with me. Now that she is not with me I'm so afraid of the future now. I dont know what is going to happen.

Also I'm very alone here right now. All of my friends have left to attend schools else where and Jill has left me. I dont know how I'm going to survive this winter. There is nothing to do in my town and I have no one to talk to about anything. I can talk to Jill about certain things but not everything because it will make her sad and I dont want to do that. I have so much to talk about, so much stuff that I need to get off of my chest. I need to vent. But I guess I can do that here. Even if no one reads it. I just dont know what to do. Im lost without her, and my life is cold and dark.