boxterjulep

First memory fragments:

I must have been three,
orange tanktop,
white shorts.

a trip to the beach,
coast of Japan
the sunlight diffused
getting closer to noon.

There was my my father,
he was wearing glasses,
smooth blonde hair
grey blue eyes.

There was my mother,
young, beautiful,
dark long hair,
big bright smile.

The three of us at the beach,
no one else was around.
My sister was still a thought at this time.

I saw a slide,
the steps in shallow water,
I could get my feet wet,
but that was all.

My parents stayed ashore
as I kicked and ran from waves.
Then came the slide:
I climbed it and sat at the top.

The chrome sheen of the slide
reflected up into my eyes,
So i turned and faced my parents
waved to them, they waved back.

I then saw the edge of the cliffs
in front of me dive down out of view
soon replaced by the sky, grey and hazy,
followed by a blast of brightness
from where the sun would have been, gone,
and then the horizon,
the sky above the ocean,
only now the ocean was above it--

Thoughts left, returned.
It took my mind some time
a white gush of foam and air bubbles,
to see where I was
scrubbing my face with sand,
a cold water womb,
and then, thoughts of drowning.
I was going to die!
Three years old!
It's not my time!

Arms and legs flailing,
I struggled to the surface,
no shortage of gasps,
I had been spun around and around,
and dumped,
further down the shore.

I looked to my parents,
They were still standing there.
I was shaking.
I looked for their help.
I wanted to cry.
what did I get instead?

My parents were pointing and laughing.
They thought it was the funniest thing!

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[Did I ever mention I love the Ray Davies?
Oklahoma U.S.A.

All life we work but work is a bore,
If life's for livin' what's livin' for?
She lives in a house that's near decay,
Built for the industrial revolution,
But in her dreams she is far away,
In Oklahoma U.S.A.
With Shirley Jones and Gordon McRea,
As she buys her paper at the corner shop,
She's walkin' on the surrey with the fringe on top,
Cos in her dreams she is far away,
In Oklahoma U.S.A.,
She walks to work but she's still in a daze,
She's Rita Hayworth or Doris Day,
And Errol Flynn's gonna take her away,
To Oklahoma U.S.A.,
All life we work but work is a bore,
If life's for livin' then what's livin' for? ]