Hey SG! I apologize that it has taken me some time to respond to comments and messages. I just got back in town from being at Cornerstone. I'm not trying to make this a serious blog, or spill my guts out onto this cyber piece of paper, but I will admit that I'm a new person after coming home. Bounty 2.0 :]
It's hard to open my heart to people that I don't know, let alone have never met. But I'll try my best to make this as easy as possible for you all to understand.
I've been struggling with a lot of things that most of our culture finds completely acceptable, but the burden of my mistakes was making my head a difficult place to continue living in. One addiction lead to the next and soon enough I had found myself spending most of my days fighting to find a reason to get out of bed. It's easy to disguise pain when you have so many people looking up to you, I was just so sick of faking the fact that I was okay when in reality I was looking up centers to admit myself to every single day. And once again, I apologize for the heaviness this blog might contain, but I feel like being honest.
So I left last Monday to go to Cornerstone, which is a religious music festival that has been going on every summer for the past 30 years. This was my fifth year attending, and I was hoping with everything in me that a spark of hope would ignite inside my empty chest this time around. And thank God that I went because the path I was walking down was quickly becoming a path of death.
I met so many fragile souls this year, so many broken homes, addictive patterns, yet there was so much faith in a better life. How could I not believe that I as well could be saved? After a week of being built up from ruins, it ended with a set by Sleeping Giant. This band is one of the most inspiring that I have ever seen. I stood in the crowd with these imaginary chains weighing me down, and I felt those chains break. It was like I was blind and could see for the very first time. The air felt clear and fresh. All the baggage that I had been dragging around for so many years was lifted from my hands and I just started to cry. Anyone who sincerely knows me can vouch for me when I say that I NEVER cry. Tears and my eyes are complete strangers. But the overwhelming feeling of peace that I felt as Sleeping Giant continued to play was indescribable. I knew from that moment on that I had to change my patterns of behavior. That was who I was, this is who I am now.
:]
"We all may be dust in the wind, but that dust spins." - Levi the Poet
xx
Bounty
It's hard to open my heart to people that I don't know, let alone have never met. But I'll try my best to make this as easy as possible for you all to understand.
I've been struggling with a lot of things that most of our culture finds completely acceptable, but the burden of my mistakes was making my head a difficult place to continue living in. One addiction lead to the next and soon enough I had found myself spending most of my days fighting to find a reason to get out of bed. It's easy to disguise pain when you have so many people looking up to you, I was just so sick of faking the fact that I was okay when in reality I was looking up centers to admit myself to every single day. And once again, I apologize for the heaviness this blog might contain, but I feel like being honest.
So I left last Monday to go to Cornerstone, which is a religious music festival that has been going on every summer for the past 30 years. This was my fifth year attending, and I was hoping with everything in me that a spark of hope would ignite inside my empty chest this time around. And thank God that I went because the path I was walking down was quickly becoming a path of death.
I met so many fragile souls this year, so many broken homes, addictive patterns, yet there was so much faith in a better life. How could I not believe that I as well could be saved? After a week of being built up from ruins, it ended with a set by Sleeping Giant. This band is one of the most inspiring that I have ever seen. I stood in the crowd with these imaginary chains weighing me down, and I felt those chains break. It was like I was blind and could see for the very first time. The air felt clear and fresh. All the baggage that I had been dragging around for so many years was lifted from my hands and I just started to cry. Anyone who sincerely knows me can vouch for me when I say that I NEVER cry. Tears and my eyes are complete strangers. But the overwhelming feeling of peace that I felt as Sleeping Giant continued to play was indescribable. I knew from that moment on that I had to change my patterns of behavior. That was who I was, this is who I am now.
:]
"We all may be dust in the wind, but that dust spins." - Levi the Poet
xx
Bounty
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
shelbyann:
Oh wait never mind lol
music4u:
this is one hell of a depressing statement... but its so true!