boundcreature

inside my new apartment and my room is all cleaned up and my girlfriend is asleep in my bed in her mesh panties and i'm so close to being asleep but i'm still awake. she's rolled up against (and facing) the wall, i pulled the covers down revealing her shoulders and the top of her back. the glow from the tv made her look tanned. i'm feeling a bit off. not in a bad way, but more like a challenge is on. going through that phase where i don't feel like my work is good enough and i'm getting on in years and i'm not yet producing what i think i am capable of producing, entirely for lack of trying. there are a million rants about this in my old entires from when i worked in the sign shop.

i have an interview on wednesday with a woman who runs a sizable design firm in south boston. if no jobs come out of that experience, i think i might shift gears and try to get a job managing a sign shop or something like that. i don't know. i don't know what the fuck i'm thinking right now. i guess i'm feeling a little despair, like i just can't take control of my life like i used to. i am not dangerous. but, i should be.

derceto was up this weekend for his birthday. we had a fair bit of fun. a little dissapointed by the dismal showing of SGBoston for each of this weekend's events (except xmortis); i'll just assume people are busy. thanks to everyone who did come out though, fun was had by all. other people are exempt. hopefully shit works out alright for my friend who used to watch horror movies with me. she's tough as nails but i don't think she realizes it.

of late, my goal in life is to start a collection of paul rudd movies. tired of thinking about my "career."

this entry is fucking retarded. i'm going to go back to bed with the half-naked girl.