Count on no one and no one will let you down.
Survival is dependent on self-sufficiency. Sometimes, I can see no way to live, except to be hard and calloused and to trust no one who has not earned my trust.
I report for my first day at the on-call sign production job tomorrow with no front tooth, because the dentist has suddenly decided to start charging me for cementing it back into my mouth, even though she is the one who took it out of my mouth in the first place and I have since paid more than nine-hundred dollars to have work done on it. To make matters worse, she is not returning my calls and her staff seems to really enjoy pointing out that I can finance the ninety-five dollar fee, but that it's really silly that I don't have ninety-five dollars in cash.
Yeah, it's really fucking silly.
My bank account was overdrawn with no warning notice given, I just put all of the money I had into it and I can't touch any of it again until next week. That ninety-five dollars was what I was going to live on until money came in from the new job.
Smiles are fake. No business is your friend and life in this society is grim, bordering on hellish. Hard work only pays off when have the cash to back yourself up and saavy to make yourself look better than someone else. Principles are not respected and the people who maintain them are an oddity. Doing the right thing means nothing. Doing what you need to do to make money means everything and garners the highest level of respect. All that matters is that you fit in and do it there way. Being yourself is no longer encouraged. Expressing yourself is limited to the expression of yourself they deem appropriate.
I have been too friendly for far too long. It makes my skin itch. Society is a cold-blooded reptile. I will tear its throat out with my teeth or I will die trying. I am through with compromising. I exist only to become stronger, more disciplined, more durable and more knowledgable.
I make my choices and I live by them. These feelings are my fault. No one but myself has forced me to live my life like it matters. I was foolish to be dependent.
There is only the self. There is only survival on my own terms. Quitting is not an option.
Survival is dependent on self-sufficiency. Sometimes, I can see no way to live, except to be hard and calloused and to trust no one who has not earned my trust.
I report for my first day at the on-call sign production job tomorrow with no front tooth, because the dentist has suddenly decided to start charging me for cementing it back into my mouth, even though she is the one who took it out of my mouth in the first place and I have since paid more than nine-hundred dollars to have work done on it. To make matters worse, she is not returning my calls and her staff seems to really enjoy pointing out that I can finance the ninety-five dollar fee, but that it's really silly that I don't have ninety-five dollars in cash.
Yeah, it's really fucking silly.
My bank account was overdrawn with no warning notice given, I just put all of the money I had into it and I can't touch any of it again until next week. That ninety-five dollars was what I was going to live on until money came in from the new job.
Smiles are fake. No business is your friend and life in this society is grim, bordering on hellish. Hard work only pays off when have the cash to back yourself up and saavy to make yourself look better than someone else. Principles are not respected and the people who maintain them are an oddity. Doing the right thing means nothing. Doing what you need to do to make money means everything and garners the highest level of respect. All that matters is that you fit in and do it there way. Being yourself is no longer encouraged. Expressing yourself is limited to the expression of yourself they deem appropriate.
I have been too friendly for far too long. It makes my skin itch. Society is a cold-blooded reptile. I will tear its throat out with my teeth or I will die trying. I am through with compromising. I exist only to become stronger, more disciplined, more durable and more knowledgable.
I make my choices and I live by them. These feelings are my fault. No one but myself has forced me to live my life like it matters. I was foolish to be dependent.
There is only the self. There is only survival on my own terms. Quitting is not an option.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
ANYWAY
1. I definitely hope you can make it. But there's no real RSVP date or nothin so WHATEV.
2. Rad. Yeah, once I started actually meeting SGs in person, hanging out with them, etc. my whole list changed focus to be the gals who I'm the closest to in good ol' RL. They just happen to all be grade A hotties.
3. Dude. Nice. I stayed up all night the night before last with Isadora and Antimony having some good old-fashioned girl gabbing with some of the few girls out there who don't suck.
4. God. Yes please.
5. Probably Beeker and Ernie.