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boundcreature

Member Since 2004

Followers 30 Following 35

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Saturday Jul 02, 2005

Jul 2, 2005
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I saw The Kings of Nuthin' for the fourth time last night, thanks to ThePants. They were in good shape, played some excellent new songs and, in a moment of complete absurdity, played a cover of the song "For You" by The Anti-Nowhere League. I was in a complete state of shock when they started the song, but, as my reaction to a complete state of shock is to dance until life is less confusing, everything worked out splendidly.

I seek harmonious balance...

and yet, do not receive it. Nothing is stable, nothing is consistent or steady. There is no firmness of constitution, no true commitment to an unchanging goal. I find myself wishing I could turn to someone else, someone who could take control of everything and leave me to small, manageable (easily survivable) tasks. I have lost my taste for this world. My passion was broken, like a loving wife under the belt-strap. Deep down, I don't care about anything but myself (professionally). Taking the time to develop self-promotional materials almost feels counter-intuitive and insulting. Why should I shape myself to your needs?

My trust is shot to shit. I have no faith in anything, at times, my belief in my ability to take a project to completion is waivering; I wake up everyday and keep trying, because I am nearly incapable of quitting (a character flaw).

There used to be a fire inside of me that drove my creativity and amibtion with a clear sense of purpose. Now, I feel like the fire has no channel and it just explodes every which way, leaving me pushing in a thousand different directions, never truly achieving a single thing, left to deal with the confusion and diminishing self-worth.

The relentless self-discipline that pushes me forward is like a set of blinders, keeping me focused on moving forward, to the point that I drive myself ragged, further and further down a road I was never meant to be on.

I need a break from this bullshit.




ARTIST SEEKS PATRON

Formerly relentless firebrand of an artist seeks financier to cover all expenses while the artist commits to a period of creative growth, culminating in the creation of a fully-soluble commodity (graphic novel). Patron will be fully-credited and will be cut into a hefty share of profits collected from sale of said commodity. Interested patrons should contact the artist. Void where prohibited; the patron shall know that the artist may need at least 6 months to bring said large-scale project to completion, but, it will be awesome.





i want to kiss palo very badly.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
palo:
Don't worry, dear. I have a pink one and another red one that I'm not selling. wink

You might even get a picture when you get back from dancing.
Jul 2, 2005
johnnythsaint:
Hey, just stopped by to say thanks for the comment. I'm still on an emotional high from hangin' out with that kiddo o' mine.

You make me fuckin' sick with the bands you get to see, so many of my favorites are either from there or play there that it's abso-fuggin-lutely ridiculous. and by the way, NOBODY comes here to play. And by nobody, I mean
NO
BOD
DEE.

That is all.
Jul 2, 2005

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