First and foremost...
those of you who keep up on my adventures regularly are familiar with the lead supporting character that appears in this journal. some call him brandon, but i call him The Pants.
i cannot properly explain this nickname. it's derived from a mixture of his highschool nickname "Goldy" and "pants." (the pants part was most-likely inspired by the infamous Mr. Show "lie detector" skit, wherein David Cross exclaims "alright Mr. Pants!" for no reason whatsoever before beginning his interrogation, note that the character he was interrogating was not named "Mr. Pants").
so, i began to call him Goldypants. i later modified that to Brandonpants and finally, out of sheer laziness, The Pants.
his connection to my adventures is less like that of a robin to my batman and more of a dr. gonzo to my raoul duke (only instead of drug-induced benders, constantly flirting with the law, we're more into apple-juice induced bouts of dancing, constantly flirting with stomach-aches caused by 7-11 tequitos).
to be succinct, i am the free-spirit who makes decisions based on random bouts of passion that get us into situations we can't control and he is the cold logic that pulls our asses out of the fire everytime.
when we wash our hands in a restroom i shake my wet hands until they are sorta dry than rub them on my shorts, he puts his under the blow dryer, get me?
we're like a duo that fills out each others incomplete parts. i add a level of fun and craziness to his life, he adds a measure of calm and control to mine. he follows the calm and peaceful path of lin yutang and alan watts, i storm the turbulent halls of miyamoto musashi and yamamoto tsunetomo.
he's the yin to my yang (or the yang to my yin) and man can he dance, ladies and gentlemen, may i present,
my hetero-life-mate:
ThePants!
ps just don't believe a fucking word he says if he offers to make you a cake!
And now back to our regularly schedule programming...
i finally have clean laundry, which means, i can FINALLY CHANGE MY SOCKS!!!!!!!!
i have been wearing the same pair of socks for something like 8 days at this point. seriously, they stink so bad, that i can smell them while standing up!
i lost both of them this morning, i thought i was gonna have to track them by scent, but managed to find them under my bed before i left for work.
work was an interesting development. there may be more on this to report later, nothing is concrete, just a lot of swirling opportunities and i have to be careful of what i agree to at this point and how it alters my professional life.
i am considering going on a hunger strike to prevent palo from going back to jersey, but i've never been good at hunger strikes, so i doubt it will last longer than a couple of hours. i'm gonna fall back on my original plan of recreating her with felt and paper mache and tricking her mum into taking the wrong one with her when she leaves.
i am so fucking clever. seriously (except for the socks thing, i really didn't think that through)...
those of you who keep up on my adventures regularly are familiar with the lead supporting character that appears in this journal. some call him brandon, but i call him The Pants.
i cannot properly explain this nickname. it's derived from a mixture of his highschool nickname "Goldy" and "pants." (the pants part was most-likely inspired by the infamous Mr. Show "lie detector" skit, wherein David Cross exclaims "alright Mr. Pants!" for no reason whatsoever before beginning his interrogation, note that the character he was interrogating was not named "Mr. Pants").
so, i began to call him Goldypants. i later modified that to Brandonpants and finally, out of sheer laziness, The Pants.
his connection to my adventures is less like that of a robin to my batman and more of a dr. gonzo to my raoul duke (only instead of drug-induced benders, constantly flirting with the law, we're more into apple-juice induced bouts of dancing, constantly flirting with stomach-aches caused by 7-11 tequitos).
to be succinct, i am the free-spirit who makes decisions based on random bouts of passion that get us into situations we can't control and he is the cold logic that pulls our asses out of the fire everytime.
when we wash our hands in a restroom i shake my wet hands until they are sorta dry than rub them on my shorts, he puts his under the blow dryer, get me?
we're like a duo that fills out each others incomplete parts. i add a level of fun and craziness to his life, he adds a measure of calm and control to mine. he follows the calm and peaceful path of lin yutang and alan watts, i storm the turbulent halls of miyamoto musashi and yamamoto tsunetomo.
he's the yin to my yang (or the yang to my yin) and man can he dance, ladies and gentlemen, may i present,
my hetero-life-mate:
ThePants!
ps just don't believe a fucking word he says if he offers to make you a cake!
And now back to our regularly schedule programming...
i finally have clean laundry, which means, i can FINALLY CHANGE MY SOCKS!!!!!!!!
i have been wearing the same pair of socks for something like 8 days at this point. seriously, they stink so bad, that i can smell them while standing up!
i lost both of them this morning, i thought i was gonna have to track them by scent, but managed to find them under my bed before i left for work.
work was an interesting development. there may be more on this to report later, nothing is concrete, just a lot of swirling opportunities and i have to be careful of what i agree to at this point and how it alters my professional life.
i am considering going on a hunger strike to prevent palo from going back to jersey, but i've never been good at hunger strikes, so i doubt it will last longer than a couple of hours. i'm gonna fall back on my original plan of recreating her with felt and paper mache and tricking her mum into taking the wrong one with her when she leaves.
i am so fucking clever. seriously (except for the socks thing, i really didn't think that through)...
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
I have a pants, her name is Mo. I'm sure you'll meet her eventually.