random bits on wednesday night
the library turns me on. seriously. not because of an attraction to smart girls or a weird librarian fetish or anything, i just love words and books and type and knowledge and paper and i love things that are organized and i love it when there is sooooo much stuff that you cannot even contemplate it all... i get so out of it in the boston public library there is just TOO MUCH STUFF and i want to read EVERYTHING and i want to KNOW EVERYTHING... man, i am the biggest slut for information... i just want to read. i want to move away for five years and just read (and possibly watch horror movies with a cute girl) but that would be it, just take the time to learn more.
books are SOOOOO FUCKING AWESOME. i hate it that generations of people come and go and they are born with NO knowledge and they die with a LIFETIME of knowledge that cannot be passed on genetically. fuck that pisses me off! the only thing we have to pass knowledge from generation to generation are BOOKS. that is why i read so much and that is why i respect the graphic designers of the 20's and 30's so much, because i do not have to learn on my own what they have already figured out and documented. i do not have to start from scratch, i can build on their explorations, i can (as jim henson said) leave the world a better place for my having been here.
***
i thought about you in the library. mostly at copley station. it was a weird little nexus point for us. the night you made me stay in your dorm room until i only had five minutes left to catch a night owl bus that had a connection at copley in front of the library and i didn't know the names of the streets yet and i missed my bus and i had to take a cab home and holy shit it was so fucking cold that night. the night we ran around the city because i realized that my bus pass allowed one free rider on sunday... we saw an albatross that day and found our way to a shaws to buy some pre-made dinner and then we caught the bus near the library (because i finally figured out which street was which) we went back to my house and watched THE FAMILY GUY i had chicken marsala (it was not too good) and you had lobster bisque and i remember that because i never felt more in love with you then i did in that moment of absolute normalness. the afternoon you made us miss the train to mansfield to work on the mural we were painting and we had to kill two hours in copley in front of the library. we had yet another meal at shaws and sat down on the library steps to do some people watching and then we went into the churches in the area and pretended we were parishioners that was about a month after you broke up with me and every single second of that day hurt me later that night we finally completed the mural (so many weekends together) and as soon as i realized that was the end of the long weekends and sleepovers i started crying on the way back to the train and you didn't know what was up and i was a mess and i felt so raw and really, i cannot believe that you loved me like you said you did (like i loved you) if you could just get off that train in cold indifference and tell me two weeks later that what we had was nothing special.
***
its a winter night and i felt the need to indulge in some romantic nostalgia. forgive me. life is good. girls are beautiful, lessons have been learned and the past is dead and buried...
i can't afford to dance tonight and i have too much work to do anyway, so i'm gonna see how much i can get done tonight and try to have some fun tomorrow night.
i can't afford to shave and i can't afford to do my laundry. i am a living, breathing, struggling artist stereotype.
the library turns me on. seriously. not because of an attraction to smart girls or a weird librarian fetish or anything, i just love words and books and type and knowledge and paper and i love things that are organized and i love it when there is sooooo much stuff that you cannot even contemplate it all... i get so out of it in the boston public library there is just TOO MUCH STUFF and i want to read EVERYTHING and i want to KNOW EVERYTHING... man, i am the biggest slut for information... i just want to read. i want to move away for five years and just read (and possibly watch horror movies with a cute girl) but that would be it, just take the time to learn more.
books are SOOOOO FUCKING AWESOME. i hate it that generations of people come and go and they are born with NO knowledge and they die with a LIFETIME of knowledge that cannot be passed on genetically. fuck that pisses me off! the only thing we have to pass knowledge from generation to generation are BOOKS. that is why i read so much and that is why i respect the graphic designers of the 20's and 30's so much, because i do not have to learn on my own what they have already figured out and documented. i do not have to start from scratch, i can build on their explorations, i can (as jim henson said) leave the world a better place for my having been here.
***
i thought about you in the library. mostly at copley station. it was a weird little nexus point for us. the night you made me stay in your dorm room until i only had five minutes left to catch a night owl bus that had a connection at copley in front of the library and i didn't know the names of the streets yet and i missed my bus and i had to take a cab home and holy shit it was so fucking cold that night. the night we ran around the city because i realized that my bus pass allowed one free rider on sunday... we saw an albatross that day and found our way to a shaws to buy some pre-made dinner and then we caught the bus near the library (because i finally figured out which street was which) we went back to my house and watched THE FAMILY GUY i had chicken marsala (it was not too good) and you had lobster bisque and i remember that because i never felt more in love with you then i did in that moment of absolute normalness. the afternoon you made us miss the train to mansfield to work on the mural we were painting and we had to kill two hours in copley in front of the library. we had yet another meal at shaws and sat down on the library steps to do some people watching and then we went into the churches in the area and pretended we were parishioners that was about a month after you broke up with me and every single second of that day hurt me later that night we finally completed the mural (so many weekends together) and as soon as i realized that was the end of the long weekends and sleepovers i started crying on the way back to the train and you didn't know what was up and i was a mess and i felt so raw and really, i cannot believe that you loved me like you said you did (like i loved you) if you could just get off that train in cold indifference and tell me two weeks later that what we had was nothing special.
***
its a winter night and i felt the need to indulge in some romantic nostalgia. forgive me. life is good. girls are beautiful, lessons have been learned and the past is dead and buried...
i can't afford to dance tonight and i have too much work to do anyway, so i'm gonna see how much i can get done tonight and try to have some fun tomorrow night.
i can't afford to shave and i can't afford to do my laundry. i am a living, breathing, struggling artist stereotype.
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
i love books too. and also as you do i h8 people who are ignorent to them. i wish my town had a library bigger than the entrance way to the boston public library.
glad things in your life other than finances are going well.