so, GWAR was awesome, again.
this makes it something like, i dunno 5 or 6 times that i have seen GWAR, i can't really separate them in my head anymore.
extra special thanks to hemlock who is so fucking rad for deciding that she wanted to see GWAR on a whim and taking me and granny along for the ride. we met up with gardiac at the show and had a great time.
it turns out that gardiac grew up in wilkes-barre, pennsylvania as well and went to crestwood high school (a school about twenty minutes away from my own wyoming area highschool). it was totally fucked. i was talking about seeing GWAR at a club called tink's and he said he'd been there and sure enough, we're from the same hometown.
DYING FETUS went on as soon as got to the palladium, they were soso, they were soooo metal. lots of growling. it was pretty funny. they kept thanking the audience and being polite. i hate polite death metal bands. it seems so wrong. do not thank me, you should be cursing at me and telling me you couldn't fucking care either way if i showed up, then you should dedicate a song to satan and start growling after the double-bass drum kicks in.
after forever GWAR took the stage. their set was gorgeous. much less hacked-together than usual. lots of really nice sculpture work and the whole thing was painted really well. this was probably the nicest of their sets that i have seen. the place was COMPLETELY packed. holy shit, i've never seen so many people at the palladium. they opened up with "the horror of yig" and then they played a bunch of songs from their new album (which i do not yet own, but, i am lead to believe by the songs played, is as heavy, if not heavier than their last album).
the first couple of songs were getting the crowd pumped and being up front was completely insane. i haven't been packed in that tight since i saw ROB ZOMBIE on his first solo tour with MONSTER MAGNET and FEAR FACTORY. we were all getting totally crushed. i must take this moment now, to speak of granny.
granny is awesome in a crowd. she is about five feet, four inches tall and ALL ELBOWS. she snarls at any guy that trys to protect her and then elbows him in the gut as she explodes furiously through any opening in the flesh-puzzle that made up the crowd at this show. haha. she was fun to watch.
i got tired of that pushing-pulling-smelling-metal-guys up close vibe and went to the back/pit area for the rest of the show. they played "immortal corrupter" off of their last album and it was awesome. that just might be their best song.
lets see, what else, oh, they killed foam effigies of: arnold schwarzenegger, john kerry, george w. bush (after he beat himself off) and a reincarnated cyborg version of ronald reagan called (i shit you not) the reaganator oh and micheal jackson, they killed him too.
at one point, ODERUS asked if the crowd would like to see something "really tasteless" and they brought out some dead pregnant lady (that granny tells me is something i would know about if i watched the news) and they played "have you seen me" a song that is certainly in their top three of most offensive songs.
they closed the set with "sick of you" and opened the encore with "the salaminizer" both songs off the SCUMDOGS OF THE UNIVERSE album.
"sick of you" was awesome. everybody in the crowd seemed to really enjoy that. it was hard dancing, because the floor was covered in fake blood, and last time i saw them i slipped on it and hurt my knee really bad, so i was very hesitant...
after the show, we parted ways with gardiac drove back to boston and hemlock bought us ice cream. it was sooo rad.
it was pretty late, so granny crashed here. we watched HELLRAISER and then i took up my sleeping-spot on the floor and passed-out during CANDYMAN while granny slept on the mighty leopard-print futon.
i woke up three hours later to granny poking at my forehead.
it seems she had drawn the conclusion that if SHE was awake, then I TOO should be awake.
we had leftover ice cream omelettes for breakfast (and, of course, by ice cream omelette, i mean ice cream). then we went back into the room and watched LORD OF ILLUSIONS and then SILVER BULLET. i kept falling asleep, but, in my defense, it was very comfortable in my room, i still had my pajamas on, their was blankets everywhere, and there were horror movies on, the question was, how could she possibly still be awake? haha.
we ordered some lunch, granny suggested i change out of my pajamas (possibly in the hopes that i would wake up) and then we watched SON OF FRANKENSTEIN. i made it through most of the movie, but then fell completely asleep at the end. granny went home after the movie, and then, disheartened at the loss of my partner in saturday-afternoon-horror-movie-laziness, i went to sleep until about 4 or 5 am this morning...
when i got up and watched GOOD WILL HUNTING.
now, i should probably get some work done, because i've just been laying around for the last 24 hours or so, and i am still feeling kind of tired.
i think i am depressed.
like, at a chemical level.
i am pretty happy in general and i had just had an AWESOME weekend, (thanks to granny, hemlock, gardiac and gwar), things are looking up with my work (i'm about to get a private commission to draw a poster-size illustration of marvel superheroes) and, in general, things are looking up,
but still, i am unenthusiastic and i am having a VERY hard time getting out of bed every day. no matter how long i am sleeping.
i had assumed that i had beaten the depression i did have (or was not depressed at all, just unhappy and unfulfilled). it has been a long time since i have felt like this. i have been forcing myself into a work ethic and discipline that would protect me from these feelings and i sometimes can't tell if I AM DEPRESSED but just do not notice it because i am focused so much on working hard.
i guess this is the kind of thing to talk with a doctor about.
fuck that. i have no money. last time i talked to a doctor about this stuff, she tried to put me on medication for a chemical imbalance. i only trust medicating mental problems in serious and severe cases (like my mom's).
i am convinced that i can survive anything on my own.
i do not know for sure right now, whether or not this is a faulty opinion to hold.
this makes it something like, i dunno 5 or 6 times that i have seen GWAR, i can't really separate them in my head anymore.
extra special thanks to hemlock who is so fucking rad for deciding that she wanted to see GWAR on a whim and taking me and granny along for the ride. we met up with gardiac at the show and had a great time.
it turns out that gardiac grew up in wilkes-barre, pennsylvania as well and went to crestwood high school (a school about twenty minutes away from my own wyoming area highschool). it was totally fucked. i was talking about seeing GWAR at a club called tink's and he said he'd been there and sure enough, we're from the same hometown.
DYING FETUS went on as soon as got to the palladium, they were soso, they were soooo metal. lots of growling. it was pretty funny. they kept thanking the audience and being polite. i hate polite death metal bands. it seems so wrong. do not thank me, you should be cursing at me and telling me you couldn't fucking care either way if i showed up, then you should dedicate a song to satan and start growling after the double-bass drum kicks in.
after forever GWAR took the stage. their set was gorgeous. much less hacked-together than usual. lots of really nice sculpture work and the whole thing was painted really well. this was probably the nicest of their sets that i have seen. the place was COMPLETELY packed. holy shit, i've never seen so many people at the palladium. they opened up with "the horror of yig" and then they played a bunch of songs from their new album (which i do not yet own, but, i am lead to believe by the songs played, is as heavy, if not heavier than their last album).
the first couple of songs were getting the crowd pumped and being up front was completely insane. i haven't been packed in that tight since i saw ROB ZOMBIE on his first solo tour with MONSTER MAGNET and FEAR FACTORY. we were all getting totally crushed. i must take this moment now, to speak of granny.
granny is awesome in a crowd. she is about five feet, four inches tall and ALL ELBOWS. she snarls at any guy that trys to protect her and then elbows him in the gut as she explodes furiously through any opening in the flesh-puzzle that made up the crowd at this show. haha. she was fun to watch.
i got tired of that pushing-pulling-smelling-metal-guys up close vibe and went to the back/pit area for the rest of the show. they played "immortal corrupter" off of their last album and it was awesome. that just might be their best song.
lets see, what else, oh, they killed foam effigies of: arnold schwarzenegger, john kerry, george w. bush (after he beat himself off) and a reincarnated cyborg version of ronald reagan called (i shit you not) the reaganator oh and micheal jackson, they killed him too.
at one point, ODERUS asked if the crowd would like to see something "really tasteless" and they brought out some dead pregnant lady (that granny tells me is something i would know about if i watched the news) and they played "have you seen me" a song that is certainly in their top three of most offensive songs.
they closed the set with "sick of you" and opened the encore with "the salaminizer" both songs off the SCUMDOGS OF THE UNIVERSE album.
"sick of you" was awesome. everybody in the crowd seemed to really enjoy that. it was hard dancing, because the floor was covered in fake blood, and last time i saw them i slipped on it and hurt my knee really bad, so i was very hesitant...
after the show, we parted ways with gardiac drove back to boston and hemlock bought us ice cream. it was sooo rad.
it was pretty late, so granny crashed here. we watched HELLRAISER and then i took up my sleeping-spot on the floor and passed-out during CANDYMAN while granny slept on the mighty leopard-print futon.
i woke up three hours later to granny poking at my forehead.
it seems she had drawn the conclusion that if SHE was awake, then I TOO should be awake.
we had leftover ice cream omelettes for breakfast (and, of course, by ice cream omelette, i mean ice cream). then we went back into the room and watched LORD OF ILLUSIONS and then SILVER BULLET. i kept falling asleep, but, in my defense, it was very comfortable in my room, i still had my pajamas on, their was blankets everywhere, and there were horror movies on, the question was, how could she possibly still be awake? haha.
we ordered some lunch, granny suggested i change out of my pajamas (possibly in the hopes that i would wake up) and then we watched SON OF FRANKENSTEIN. i made it through most of the movie, but then fell completely asleep at the end. granny went home after the movie, and then, disheartened at the loss of my partner in saturday-afternoon-horror-movie-laziness, i went to sleep until about 4 or 5 am this morning...
when i got up and watched GOOD WILL HUNTING.
now, i should probably get some work done, because i've just been laying around for the last 24 hours or so, and i am still feeling kind of tired.
i think i am depressed.
like, at a chemical level.
i am pretty happy in general and i had just had an AWESOME weekend, (thanks to granny, hemlock, gardiac and gwar), things are looking up with my work (i'm about to get a private commission to draw a poster-size illustration of marvel superheroes) and, in general, things are looking up,
but still, i am unenthusiastic and i am having a VERY hard time getting out of bed every day. no matter how long i am sleeping.
i had assumed that i had beaten the depression i did have (or was not depressed at all, just unhappy and unfulfilled). it has been a long time since i have felt like this. i have been forcing myself into a work ethic and discipline that would protect me from these feelings and i sometimes can't tell if I AM DEPRESSED but just do not notice it because i am focused so much on working hard.
i guess this is the kind of thing to talk with a doctor about.
fuck that. i have no money. last time i talked to a doctor about this stuff, she tried to put me on medication for a chemical imbalance. i only trust medicating mental problems in serious and severe cases (like my mom's).
i am convinced that i can survive anything on my own.
i do not know for sure right now, whether or not this is a faulty opinion to hold.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
please, just step into the box
you may have misinterpreted that. i LOVED anaconda. but i loved it because of the anamatronic and computer generated snake. these are the ingredients for a great movie. oh and the plot.
i promise never to open my mouth that huge when you get here. unless of course, im eating a really big sandwich