So, the girlfriend took me for a drive out to Weymouth to get some ice cream a couple of days ago; on the way, to my utter confusion, the following conversation broke out:
GF: would you ever want to go to a car race?
BK: no.
GF: just like that? you wouldn't even want to give it a chance?
BK: no. no way in hell.
she looks at me and for a second thinks i am kidding or at least exagerrating
BK: car races represent everything that i moved out of pennsylvania to get away from.
GF: this isn't nascar or anything...
BK: do you realize it has been over a year since i have even SEEN a nascar shirt? do you realize how much that means to me, and you want me to go to a, a, a CAR RACE!
GF: you could just try it, i hated them too and i just went with an open mind and had a great time.
BK: were you drunk?
GF: no.
BK: were you with someone who was incredibly fun?
at this point it is necessary to say the windows of the car are down and we are on a major highway
GF: did you just say "incredibly fucked?"
BK: no, "fun" were you with someone who was incredibly fun.
GF: not particularly... so, wouldn't you do it just because it was something I wanted to do?
BK: no.
here, the girlfriend looks a little hurt
BK: in all honesty, i was seriously considering breaking-up with you because of this conversation.
she looks at me like i MUST be joking; i leave it to simmer in ambiguity
on the way back, we pass a chinese restaurant where she used to eat lunch a lot.
GF: i'd say we could stop in their for some Mai Tai's, but you don't drink.
BK: yup.
GF: do you think you'd ever maybe, sorta consider just trying a Mai Tai.
BK: y'know, you've got a much better chance of seeing me drink a Mai Tai then you do of seeing me at a car race.
GF: you could drink the Mai Tai at the race, it would help if you were drunk.
***
tonight i am watching DEUCE BIGELOW : MALE GIGOLO. Which is, without a doubt in my mind, one of the funniest fucking movies of all time.
This is why:
"Man-whore"
"He-bitch"
"Man-gina"
and Norm MacDonald's classic line:
"Perhaps you don't understand, if you don't pay me, I'm gonna take this swizzle stick here and shove it up your pee hole."
Classic.
GF: would you ever want to go to a car race?
BK: no.
GF: just like that? you wouldn't even want to give it a chance?
BK: no. no way in hell.
she looks at me and for a second thinks i am kidding or at least exagerrating
BK: car races represent everything that i moved out of pennsylvania to get away from.
GF: this isn't nascar or anything...
BK: do you realize it has been over a year since i have even SEEN a nascar shirt? do you realize how much that means to me, and you want me to go to a, a, a CAR RACE!
GF: you could just try it, i hated them too and i just went with an open mind and had a great time.
BK: were you drunk?
GF: no.
BK: were you with someone who was incredibly fun?
at this point it is necessary to say the windows of the car are down and we are on a major highway
GF: did you just say "incredibly fucked?"
BK: no, "fun" were you with someone who was incredibly fun.
GF: not particularly... so, wouldn't you do it just because it was something I wanted to do?
BK: no.
here, the girlfriend looks a little hurt
BK: in all honesty, i was seriously considering breaking-up with you because of this conversation.
she looks at me like i MUST be joking; i leave it to simmer in ambiguity
on the way back, we pass a chinese restaurant where she used to eat lunch a lot.
GF: i'd say we could stop in their for some Mai Tai's, but you don't drink.
BK: yup.
GF: do you think you'd ever maybe, sorta consider just trying a Mai Tai.
BK: y'know, you've got a much better chance of seeing me drink a Mai Tai then you do of seeing me at a car race.
GF: you could drink the Mai Tai at the race, it would help if you were drunk.
***
tonight i am watching DEUCE BIGELOW : MALE GIGOLO. Which is, without a doubt in my mind, one of the funniest fucking movies of all time.
This is why:
"Man-whore"
"He-bitch"
"Man-gina"
and Norm MacDonald's classic line:
"Perhaps you don't understand, if you don't pay me, I'm gonna take this swizzle stick here and shove it up your pee hole."
Classic.
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
Really bummed mydogfarted and I didn't get to hook up with you this past weekend in Boston. Hope your business trip was fruitful and all. Guess we'll have to meet some other time - I think I really turned hubby on to Boston, so a future trip up there wouldn't be out of the question.
Anne
[Edited on Sep 07, 2004 1:30PM]
Why I dreamt this, I have no idea. But it was so clear and seemingly made so much sense, as opposed to my usual wacked out, surrealistic slumber images.