for this journal entry i'm gonna need you guys to imagine me shirtless and angry, pounding the keyboard with rage and muttering under my breath like homer simpson.
I am pissed off today. Mega-super-ultra pissed off. I should be really happy, underneath all of the angry, I am feeling very giddy and bouncy.
Points of anger:
My client, the one I am building this god-forsaken website for, is dicking me about big time. I told him the project is 4 months overdue because he is not taking it seriously and that I will need additional funds to finish the job, and he basically tells me to just deal with it.
I am doing this project for roughly 8% of the industry standard as far as price goes, because I was offered a 10% stake in the income from the project (an e-commerce website). This is a very risky proposition, but it was based on two points of interest: one the job would only last from January to June and two, i was the absolute head of the project and had full-control over how the website would appear. I am a mad tyrant when it comes to my work and this was a very important clause for me. So, it didn't seem like too big a deal to take on this project for what the owner of the company (the client) could afford, based on the fact that i would sink of swim financially on the power of my own design work.
Now, it is four fucking months overdue because the owner is dicking me around and not supplying me with information about his store and products that i desperately need to finish my job. i want to punch a hole the size of the universe in his forehead.
AND i can't even go work out this anger; because i can't start training at the kickboxing place until i am settled at the taekwondo place and those motherfucks will not speak with me. i am 90% sure they are trying to intimidate into maintaining the contract, but that shit doesn't work on me. i don't get intimidated, i just get really, really fucking aggravated.
when i went to talk with the guy on saturday, he stood up and puffed-out his chest and tried to be taller than me. NONE ARE TALLER THAN ME. i'm sure the guy has way, way more experience, but i am a young, angry, hungry, punk rock, artist... who on earth would fuck with that?
so that's why i'm pissed.
here's why i'm happy:
i found my keys. darryl came in and asked for a glue stick (which, is something that happens regularly when two graphic designers live together -- he came in last week and cautiously asked if i had a pantone book and i was all like, shit yeah, mofo, OF COURSE I HAVE A PANTONE BOOK just sitting in my bedroom, you never know when you are going to need scientifically formulated color-matching for your offset printing project). in the can where i keep my glue sticks, under my bed, were my fucking keys that i have been looking for for the last two days.
other reasons to be happy: my date with the dancing girl went really well and i had a lot of fun. when she is not dancing and being hot, she is very cute and down to earth and interesting. it is very new speaking with someone a couple of years older than me and realizing that i can hold my own in the conversation. my last couple of girlfriends were each 19 years old, so its a totally unique perspective speaking to someone who is 30. we saw The Village last night. fucking awesome, holy shit awesome, go see it awesome.
for anyone who was following this drama as it unfolded in the last couple of weeks, it turns out that she was shy about me showing interest in her, she thought me and plaingurl were an item, and some schmuck was creeping her out... all of those things combined to make getting a date with her into a five week operation.
also causing happy: the slumber party was this weekend and it was a smashing success. very many cool people came and i was very happy about that. unfortunately my roommate got pissed at me for no justifiable reason and now i am a little angry at her. she was upset because i had people over and because the house was a tiny bit messy the next day. she knew in advance that i was doing this, for over a month, and this was probably the cleanest, most well-behaved party in the history of SG. darryl and i cleaned the whole fucking house by 3pm the next day. we mopped the floors and everything, it was fucking sparkling. and she still copped an attitude about it. fuck that shit.
anyway, i had a really good time and i hope everyone else did as well.
almost everyone who came, got lost, so i'm gonna have to get real directions to my house in the future, fuck mapquest.
jamielee and gentlemancaller came all the way up from maryland (with a mid-trip stop over from the wonderfully-accomodating, convenience-causing minimalism -- his presence was missed, but he saw the Cure that night, so he is forgiven). if i was ever going to marry a couple, it would be them, totally. i couldn't see him from where i was laying down, but you knew whenever gentlemancaller was awake, because he made the most rude, innappropriate, offensive, and hysterically funny sexual comments about the movies. he has some kind of damage. jamielee dedicated her incredible pepper-cutting prowess (honed during 23 years working in a pepper mill -- "i'm not gonna spend my life reeking of peppah") to cutting peppers for the fried rice and helping me and The Pants cook it up. she made a much smaller mess than the two of us did.
plaingurl and mylf showed up early and further contributed to the pleasing aesthetics of the apartment. they took the opportunity to rope off the couch and create a VIP lounge, which, i somehow was made a member of. sweet.
got to meet gardiac who is, i think the only person who was awake the entire way through. even for the bonus video showing of Re-Animator after Wrong Turn woke everyone up. cool guy. he brought water, it was much appreciated.
fullnelson it eventually. always a pleasure. hope to see more of him at future events.
after being in the VIP section became unbearably hot (in every sense of the word, it was about 100 billion degrees in the living room, and i was smooshed onto the couch with three hot mommas (plaingurl, myf, and al bundy... i mean, jamie lee) i traded with pip so i could get a nice floor spot. all of the heat must've gone to Pip's brain and made him lightheaded, because i swear, he was funny almost the entire night, and zinged my ass but good the next morning.
as the night wore on i crashed out on the futon between cherrysodap0p and curlyoxide. now, one of them was touching my butt as i fell asleep, and i only wish i could tell you that it was the cute girl who was doing it and not the comically-big-boned new hampshire redneck.
i finally got to see misstyrios again also, who will be moving pretty close to me very soon. righteous.
the jet doc himself, alkaholic23 even payed us a surprise visit and hung out in the sweat lodge for a couple of movies.
jamielee posted some pictures in her journal, you should go look at them (one is of me doing a split and another is of Plaingurl being cute, so go check it out). Give Jamie some love.
i hope everyone had a rockalicious time. this is the kind of thing i would do regularly if i had my own place or if The Pants finally finished college and moved into Boston with me like he's been promising. (he's such a tease).
writing all of this helped, but i am still angry, so i am going to listen to The Virus and I am going to shout out all of the words unti I feel better. The Virus were around for a very short period of time and went through incredible member turnover, at some magical point, they had a combination of musicians that produced the album NOWHERE TO HIDE. it is brutal and mean and fast all of the way through. it is an album about being you and getting fucked about by society. everything song was written by someone who is as angry as i am about all of the same things.
rather than fake an english accent and try to sound like The Exploited (like anyone could ever sound like The Exploited); these fuckers decided to take their influences and apply them to the reality of being in your mid-twenties in this media-saturated bull-shit century.
you should check them out; i don't really like full song lyrics in journals, so here are some representative samples:
from ANOTHER DAY GOES BY:
"I wake up to my problems
That never go away
I try and stay content
With keeping my life at bay
I question all the answers
Another day goes by...
I need to ask some questions
I need a straight reply
It's hard to make decisions
When all you have is lies"
from HEROES:
"One time my father said to me
When you grow up, you be the best man you can be / When I look back on how fucked up my life has gone / He said, Well son that's the thing that will make you strong
I never said that I knew what was right or wrong / Because all my heroes are long gone
And no one ever told me just what I should be / All I ever had was me"
from MY LIFE, MY WORLD:
"You do exactly what you want to
And you answer to no one
You live exactly how you want to
For you today has just begun
It's my life - I choose to
It's my life - so fuck you
Never surrender
It's my life and my world "
I am pissed off today. Mega-super-ultra pissed off. I should be really happy, underneath all of the angry, I am feeling very giddy and bouncy.
Points of anger:
My client, the one I am building this god-forsaken website for, is dicking me about big time. I told him the project is 4 months overdue because he is not taking it seriously and that I will need additional funds to finish the job, and he basically tells me to just deal with it.
I am doing this project for roughly 8% of the industry standard as far as price goes, because I was offered a 10% stake in the income from the project (an e-commerce website). This is a very risky proposition, but it was based on two points of interest: one the job would only last from January to June and two, i was the absolute head of the project and had full-control over how the website would appear. I am a mad tyrant when it comes to my work and this was a very important clause for me. So, it didn't seem like too big a deal to take on this project for what the owner of the company (the client) could afford, based on the fact that i would sink of swim financially on the power of my own design work.
Now, it is four fucking months overdue because the owner is dicking me around and not supplying me with information about his store and products that i desperately need to finish my job. i want to punch a hole the size of the universe in his forehead.
AND i can't even go work out this anger; because i can't start training at the kickboxing place until i am settled at the taekwondo place and those motherfucks will not speak with me. i am 90% sure they are trying to intimidate into maintaining the contract, but that shit doesn't work on me. i don't get intimidated, i just get really, really fucking aggravated.
when i went to talk with the guy on saturday, he stood up and puffed-out his chest and tried to be taller than me. NONE ARE TALLER THAN ME. i'm sure the guy has way, way more experience, but i am a young, angry, hungry, punk rock, artist... who on earth would fuck with that?
so that's why i'm pissed.
here's why i'm happy:
i found my keys. darryl came in and asked for a glue stick (which, is something that happens regularly when two graphic designers live together -- he came in last week and cautiously asked if i had a pantone book and i was all like, shit yeah, mofo, OF COURSE I HAVE A PANTONE BOOK just sitting in my bedroom, you never know when you are going to need scientifically formulated color-matching for your offset printing project). in the can where i keep my glue sticks, under my bed, were my fucking keys that i have been looking for for the last two days.
other reasons to be happy: my date with the dancing girl went really well and i had a lot of fun. when she is not dancing and being hot, she is very cute and down to earth and interesting. it is very new speaking with someone a couple of years older than me and realizing that i can hold my own in the conversation. my last couple of girlfriends were each 19 years old, so its a totally unique perspective speaking to someone who is 30. we saw The Village last night. fucking awesome, holy shit awesome, go see it awesome.
for anyone who was following this drama as it unfolded in the last couple of weeks, it turns out that she was shy about me showing interest in her, she thought me and plaingurl were an item, and some schmuck was creeping her out... all of those things combined to make getting a date with her into a five week operation.
also causing happy: the slumber party was this weekend and it was a smashing success. very many cool people came and i was very happy about that. unfortunately my roommate got pissed at me for no justifiable reason and now i am a little angry at her. she was upset because i had people over and because the house was a tiny bit messy the next day. she knew in advance that i was doing this, for over a month, and this was probably the cleanest, most well-behaved party in the history of SG. darryl and i cleaned the whole fucking house by 3pm the next day. we mopped the floors and everything, it was fucking sparkling. and she still copped an attitude about it. fuck that shit.
anyway, i had a really good time and i hope everyone else did as well.
almost everyone who came, got lost, so i'm gonna have to get real directions to my house in the future, fuck mapquest.
jamielee and gentlemancaller came all the way up from maryland (with a mid-trip stop over from the wonderfully-accomodating, convenience-causing minimalism -- his presence was missed, but he saw the Cure that night, so he is forgiven). if i was ever going to marry a couple, it would be them, totally. i couldn't see him from where i was laying down, but you knew whenever gentlemancaller was awake, because he made the most rude, innappropriate, offensive, and hysterically funny sexual comments about the movies. he has some kind of damage. jamielee dedicated her incredible pepper-cutting prowess (honed during 23 years working in a pepper mill -- "i'm not gonna spend my life reeking of peppah") to cutting peppers for the fried rice and helping me and The Pants cook it up. she made a much smaller mess than the two of us did.
plaingurl and mylf showed up early and further contributed to the pleasing aesthetics of the apartment. they took the opportunity to rope off the couch and create a VIP lounge, which, i somehow was made a member of. sweet.
got to meet gardiac who is, i think the only person who was awake the entire way through. even for the bonus video showing of Re-Animator after Wrong Turn woke everyone up. cool guy. he brought water, it was much appreciated.
fullnelson it eventually. always a pleasure. hope to see more of him at future events.
after being in the VIP section became unbearably hot (in every sense of the word, it was about 100 billion degrees in the living room, and i was smooshed onto the couch with three hot mommas (plaingurl, myf, and al bundy... i mean, jamie lee) i traded with pip so i could get a nice floor spot. all of the heat must've gone to Pip's brain and made him lightheaded, because i swear, he was funny almost the entire night, and zinged my ass but good the next morning.
as the night wore on i crashed out on the futon between cherrysodap0p and curlyoxide. now, one of them was touching my butt as i fell asleep, and i only wish i could tell you that it was the cute girl who was doing it and not the comically-big-boned new hampshire redneck.
i finally got to see misstyrios again also, who will be moving pretty close to me very soon. righteous.
the jet doc himself, alkaholic23 even payed us a surprise visit and hung out in the sweat lodge for a couple of movies.
jamielee posted some pictures in her journal, you should go look at them (one is of me doing a split and another is of Plaingurl being cute, so go check it out). Give Jamie some love.
i hope everyone had a rockalicious time. this is the kind of thing i would do regularly if i had my own place or if The Pants finally finished college and moved into Boston with me like he's been promising. (he's such a tease).
writing all of this helped, but i am still angry, so i am going to listen to The Virus and I am going to shout out all of the words unti I feel better. The Virus were around for a very short period of time and went through incredible member turnover, at some magical point, they had a combination of musicians that produced the album NOWHERE TO HIDE. it is brutal and mean and fast all of the way through. it is an album about being you and getting fucked about by society. everything song was written by someone who is as angry as i am about all of the same things.
rather than fake an english accent and try to sound like The Exploited (like anyone could ever sound like The Exploited); these fuckers decided to take their influences and apply them to the reality of being in your mid-twenties in this media-saturated bull-shit century.
you should check them out; i don't really like full song lyrics in journals, so here are some representative samples:
from ANOTHER DAY GOES BY:
"I wake up to my problems
That never go away
I try and stay content
With keeping my life at bay
I question all the answers
Another day goes by...
I need to ask some questions
I need a straight reply
It's hard to make decisions
When all you have is lies"
from HEROES:
"One time my father said to me
When you grow up, you be the best man you can be / When I look back on how fucked up my life has gone / He said, Well son that's the thing that will make you strong
I never said that I knew what was right or wrong / Because all my heroes are long gone
And no one ever told me just what I should be / All I ever had was me"
from MY LIFE, MY WORLD:
"You do exactly what you want to
And you answer to no one
You live exactly how you want to
For you today has just begun
It's my life - I choose to
It's my life - so fuck you
Never surrender
It's my life and my world "
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
seantastic:
I have a pantalone book. It's a little project of mine. Sounded like a hell of a time!
seantastic:
Your right. I have a book of pickles but that one is emarrasing to speak of.