"A Night Out With BuckyKatt666 and Plaingurl"
Cast of Characters:
BuckyKatt666 (Katt) - A tall, dashing young punk-rockin' graphic artist.
Plaingurl (Gurl) - A not-so-tall but terribly cute poet girl with a heart of gold.
Dancing Girl - A painfully pretty dark-haired girl who dances sorta like Molly Ringwald.
Straps-On-Her-Pants - A hot punk-rocker type chick who had lots of straps on her pants.
DJ Awesometacular - An excellent, perpetually smiling DJ who plays the Damned and Pop Will Eat Itself.
Setting:
Time - Wednesday Night
Location - The Goth Club
Act I: Scene II
(Katt is dancing up a storm when Gurl enters Stage Left).
Gurl: I think she's here.
Katt: Really, I didn't see her?
(Katt and Gurl scour the club for Dancing Girl, she is nowhere to be found).
Katt: I know when she's here, I have like a sense for it. Anyway, this girl who was here a few weeks ago that I was all drooling over is here tonight... but... she has straps on her pants.
Gurl: Point her out.
(Katt points to a girl who is dancing like she's got a punker trapped inside of her, desperate to get out).
Katt: Over there, the one dancing like she's got a punker trapped inside of her, desperate to get out.
(Gurl looks and Straps-On-Her-Pants is "raising the roof." Gurl looks at Katt quizically).
Katt: Well, she did before she started raising the roof.
Gurl: The straps aren't that bad?
Katt: C'mon, they are completely FUNCTIONLESS! I mean, I know this is coming from a guy who is wearing his belt around his hips and who frequently wears ties with T-shirts, but still... I just can't stand straps on pants.
Gurl: you had straps on your pants this weekend.
Katt: THEY WERE TIES! THEY WERE FOR FASTENING! THEY WERE FUNCTIONAL!
Act I : Scene III
(Katt and Gurl are dancing up a storm, Gurl off by herself, behind people, Katt right in front of Straps-On-Her-Pants. The tune is a wee bit industrial.)
Katt (monologue): Straps-On-Her-Pants sure is hot! I'm not gonna sit around and wait for Dancing Girl, if she liked me she'd a said something or not run away... I like how this girl moves anyway, its about time I stopped moping over the Heartbreaker and moved on with my life.
(Katt loses himself in the industrial tune and dances and watches Straps-On-Her-Pants.)
(Dancing Girl enters from Stage Left. Katt almost falls down).
Act I : Scene IV
(Katt and Gurl are standing off the floor talking, watching Dancing Girl).
Katt: She's here.
Gurl: Oh, there she is. You have to talk to her.
Katt: I will.
(Katt watches Dancing Girl leave the floor and head to the bar - in his direction - he turns to say something to Gurl but she has covered 30 feet of Goth Club in under 2 seconds. He is alone. In his bewilderment, he loses track of her. He finds her eventually in the front room buying a drink but thinks better of following her around the club. He decides to wait).
Act I : Scene V
(Katt is standing buy the empty bar looking cool. Dancing Girl walks up behind him, eye contact is made, recognition engaged, locked in by an apparent sense of guilt, she makes conversation).
Dancing Girl: Hey. How are you.
Katt: Alright. I mean, Great!
Dancing GIrl: Did you come for the band.
Katt: No. I was gonna dance at Paradise but my friend made me come here.
Dancing Girl: Whats at paradise?
Katt: some kinda punk think.
Dancing Girl: nobody tells me anything.
Katt: One of my coworkers bar tends there.
Dancing Girl: I'm gonna go for a walk.
(Dancing Girl leaves. The conversation is awkward, stilted and over in seconds. Straps-On-Her-Pants walks towards and right by Katt, they exchange a smile. Katt is thoroughly confused. Katt walks into the crowd and finds Gurl).
Katt: I need help!
Gurl: What happened?
(Katt fills in Gurl on the Dancing Girl conversation and the eyes with Straps-On-Her-Pants).
Gurl: I'm sorry, she doesn't like you.
Katt: But, why? I'm loveable!
Gurl: But, she doesn't.
Katt: But, I'm loveable.
Gurl: (slowly) But, she just doesn't.
Katt: I know, but I'm so fucking loveable.
Gurl: I know this. But, she probably didn't come last week because of you. You have to quit while you're ahead.
Katt: I don't know how to quit. Really... it's like a flaw. I can make her love me.
Gurl: You need to leave that poor girl alone.
Katt: Maybe I should go up to her and flex.
Gurl: No.
Katt: OOOH!!! Wait, you go get her and bring her in here just as I'm doing push-ups.
Gurl: No.
Katt: Fine! I'm gonna go talk to Straps-On-Her-Pants.
Gurl: Good.
Act II : Scene I
(Katt wanders in despair, searching for Straps-On-Her-Pants trying to avoid watching the Dancing Girl dance. At some point he sees her talking with a guy in a familiar manner, and realizes she may have been a taken-lass all along. The search for Straps-On-Her-Pants yields nothing. Absolutely nothing. Katt will die alone).
Act II : Scene II
(Bar. Katt sits with Gurl).
Katt: DJ-Awesometacular said he's gonna play the Damned for me.
Gurl: Cool... I saw her with a guy.
Katt: Yeah, me too.
Gurl: Did you find Straps-On-Her-Pants?
Katt: No.
Gurl: He's not anywhere near as hot as you.
Katt: Probably not as tall either.
Gurl: No.
Katt: Do you think I should go challenge him to a wrestling match.
Gurl: No.
Katt: Are you sure? Cuz I can take him. Chicks dig that, If I beat her boyfriend up, she'd so love me.
Gurl: Yeah, cuz YOU know what Chicks Dig.
Act III : Scene I
(Its getting on towards the end of the night. Straps-On-Her-Pants never reappears. Dancing Girl avoids Katt, Katt returns the favor. Katt sits on a bench resting. Dancing Girl enters the room and watches the dance floor as she always seems to do. Katt is convinced she is looking at him, despite the fact that she isn't).
Act III : Scene II
(Katt is on the dancefloor. Dancing Girl is talking with a guy who isn't Katt or the guy from earlier. Gurl is sitting down staring at a cute girl with a mohawk. DJ Awesometacular plays "History of the World, Pt. 1" by the Damned. Katt dances like a man possessed, constanly losing his rhythm because that's how excited the Damned makes him).
Katt (monologue): Whatever, the hell with her. I have the Damned! Who needs girls when you got Machine Gun Etiquette?
(Dancing Girl takes the floor for the end of the Damned tune. DJ Awesometacular pushes the tempo faster with the next tune: PUNK ROCK DANCE PARTY!!! The moments pass in a blur, another song, fifteen minutes of fast, punk-style dancing, Katt and Dancing Girl dancing right next to one another but not making contact).
DJ Awesometacular: Thanks. Goodnight everybody! I am awesome!
(Katt prepares to grab Gurl and leave. When, for no apparent rational, logical, or conceivable reason, Dancing Girl approaches him).
Dancing Girl: I'm sorry, I would've bought you a drink, but I lost track of time.
Katt (thinking): der.
Katt (speaking): uh, ok, you can hit me up next week.
Dancing Girl: You'll have to remind me, I might forget.
Katt: I'll be all like "YO! GET ME A DRINK!" Girls like being commanded.
Dancing Girl (nodding and very sarcastic): Yes. Especially me.
Katt: I feel disgusting.
Dancing Girl: You look great.
(Katt looks at her waiting for her eyes to show the sarcasm, for the joke to take hold. Dancing Girl looks back as him as if her eyes can say "you ass! I just gave you a complement! are you that inept?").
Katt: Hairs all greasy, I put this stuff in it to hold the frizzy parts together, cuz I washed my hair the other night for the first time in about nine weeks.
(Gurl is walking by at that precise moment, and makes a mental note that Katt is an idiot).
Dancing Girl: (genuinely disgusted) uh, yeah... uh. To make the afro?
Katt: No, thats always there.
Dancing Girl: You going right home?
Katt (not taking any hint): Yup, I got work in the morning.
Dancing Girl: Maybe I'll see you next week. Unless you're gonna go to Paradise.
Katt: I guess. Yeah. Sure. I'll come here.
Dancing Girl: I guess you gotta go find your friend.
Katt: yeah.
(Katt sorta puts his hand out, she puts hers out and shakes it).
Katt: oh, shit, I'm sorry I'm still gross.
(Dancing Girl fumbles for her cyanide capsule).
End.
Cast of Characters:
BuckyKatt666 (Katt) - A tall, dashing young punk-rockin' graphic artist.
Plaingurl (Gurl) - A not-so-tall but terribly cute poet girl with a heart of gold.
Dancing Girl - A painfully pretty dark-haired girl who dances sorta like Molly Ringwald.
Straps-On-Her-Pants - A hot punk-rocker type chick who had lots of straps on her pants.
DJ Awesometacular - An excellent, perpetually smiling DJ who plays the Damned and Pop Will Eat Itself.
Setting:
Time - Wednesday Night
Location - The Goth Club
Act I: Scene II
(Katt is dancing up a storm when Gurl enters Stage Left).
Gurl: I think she's here.
Katt: Really, I didn't see her?
(Katt and Gurl scour the club for Dancing Girl, she is nowhere to be found).
Katt: I know when she's here, I have like a sense for it. Anyway, this girl who was here a few weeks ago that I was all drooling over is here tonight... but... she has straps on her pants.
Gurl: Point her out.
(Katt points to a girl who is dancing like she's got a punker trapped inside of her, desperate to get out).
Katt: Over there, the one dancing like she's got a punker trapped inside of her, desperate to get out.
(Gurl looks and Straps-On-Her-Pants is "raising the roof." Gurl looks at Katt quizically).
Katt: Well, she did before she started raising the roof.
Gurl: The straps aren't that bad?
Katt: C'mon, they are completely FUNCTIONLESS! I mean, I know this is coming from a guy who is wearing his belt around his hips and who frequently wears ties with T-shirts, but still... I just can't stand straps on pants.
Gurl: you had straps on your pants this weekend.
Katt: THEY WERE TIES! THEY WERE FOR FASTENING! THEY WERE FUNCTIONAL!
Act I : Scene III
(Katt and Gurl are dancing up a storm, Gurl off by herself, behind people, Katt right in front of Straps-On-Her-Pants. The tune is a wee bit industrial.)
Katt (monologue): Straps-On-Her-Pants sure is hot! I'm not gonna sit around and wait for Dancing Girl, if she liked me she'd a said something or not run away... I like how this girl moves anyway, its about time I stopped moping over the Heartbreaker and moved on with my life.
(Katt loses himself in the industrial tune and dances and watches Straps-On-Her-Pants.)
(Dancing Girl enters from Stage Left. Katt almost falls down).
Act I : Scene IV
(Katt and Gurl are standing off the floor talking, watching Dancing Girl).
Katt: She's here.
Gurl: Oh, there she is. You have to talk to her.
Katt: I will.
(Katt watches Dancing Girl leave the floor and head to the bar - in his direction - he turns to say something to Gurl but she has covered 30 feet of Goth Club in under 2 seconds. He is alone. In his bewilderment, he loses track of her. He finds her eventually in the front room buying a drink but thinks better of following her around the club. He decides to wait).
Act I : Scene V
(Katt is standing buy the empty bar looking cool. Dancing Girl walks up behind him, eye contact is made, recognition engaged, locked in by an apparent sense of guilt, she makes conversation).
Dancing Girl: Hey. How are you.
Katt: Alright. I mean, Great!
Dancing GIrl: Did you come for the band.
Katt: No. I was gonna dance at Paradise but my friend made me come here.
Dancing Girl: Whats at paradise?
Katt: some kinda punk think.
Dancing Girl: nobody tells me anything.
Katt: One of my coworkers bar tends there.
Dancing Girl: I'm gonna go for a walk.
(Dancing Girl leaves. The conversation is awkward, stilted and over in seconds. Straps-On-Her-Pants walks towards and right by Katt, they exchange a smile. Katt is thoroughly confused. Katt walks into the crowd and finds Gurl).
Katt: I need help!
Gurl: What happened?
(Katt fills in Gurl on the Dancing Girl conversation and the eyes with Straps-On-Her-Pants).
Gurl: I'm sorry, she doesn't like you.
Katt: But, why? I'm loveable!
Gurl: But, she doesn't.
Katt: But, I'm loveable.
Gurl: (slowly) But, she just doesn't.
Katt: I know, but I'm so fucking loveable.
Gurl: I know this. But, she probably didn't come last week because of you. You have to quit while you're ahead.
Katt: I don't know how to quit. Really... it's like a flaw. I can make her love me.
Gurl: You need to leave that poor girl alone.
Katt: Maybe I should go up to her and flex.
Gurl: No.
Katt: OOOH!!! Wait, you go get her and bring her in here just as I'm doing push-ups.
Gurl: No.
Katt: Fine! I'm gonna go talk to Straps-On-Her-Pants.
Gurl: Good.
Act II : Scene I
(Katt wanders in despair, searching for Straps-On-Her-Pants trying to avoid watching the Dancing Girl dance. At some point he sees her talking with a guy in a familiar manner, and realizes she may have been a taken-lass all along. The search for Straps-On-Her-Pants yields nothing. Absolutely nothing. Katt will die alone).
Act II : Scene II
(Bar. Katt sits with Gurl).
Katt: DJ-Awesometacular said he's gonna play the Damned for me.
Gurl: Cool... I saw her with a guy.
Katt: Yeah, me too.
Gurl: Did you find Straps-On-Her-Pants?
Katt: No.
Gurl: He's not anywhere near as hot as you.
Katt: Probably not as tall either.
Gurl: No.
Katt: Do you think I should go challenge him to a wrestling match.
Gurl: No.
Katt: Are you sure? Cuz I can take him. Chicks dig that, If I beat her boyfriend up, she'd so love me.
Gurl: Yeah, cuz YOU know what Chicks Dig.
Act III : Scene I
(Its getting on towards the end of the night. Straps-On-Her-Pants never reappears. Dancing Girl avoids Katt, Katt returns the favor. Katt sits on a bench resting. Dancing Girl enters the room and watches the dance floor as she always seems to do. Katt is convinced she is looking at him, despite the fact that she isn't).
Act III : Scene II
(Katt is on the dancefloor. Dancing Girl is talking with a guy who isn't Katt or the guy from earlier. Gurl is sitting down staring at a cute girl with a mohawk. DJ Awesometacular plays "History of the World, Pt. 1" by the Damned. Katt dances like a man possessed, constanly losing his rhythm because that's how excited the Damned makes him).
Katt (monologue): Whatever, the hell with her. I have the Damned! Who needs girls when you got Machine Gun Etiquette?
(Dancing Girl takes the floor for the end of the Damned tune. DJ Awesometacular pushes the tempo faster with the next tune: PUNK ROCK DANCE PARTY!!! The moments pass in a blur, another song, fifteen minutes of fast, punk-style dancing, Katt and Dancing Girl dancing right next to one another but not making contact).
DJ Awesometacular: Thanks. Goodnight everybody! I am awesome!
(Katt prepares to grab Gurl and leave. When, for no apparent rational, logical, or conceivable reason, Dancing Girl approaches him).
Dancing Girl: I'm sorry, I would've bought you a drink, but I lost track of time.
Katt (thinking): der.
Katt (speaking): uh, ok, you can hit me up next week.
Dancing Girl: You'll have to remind me, I might forget.
Katt: I'll be all like "YO! GET ME A DRINK!" Girls like being commanded.
Dancing Girl (nodding and very sarcastic): Yes. Especially me.
Katt: I feel disgusting.
Dancing Girl: You look great.
(Katt looks at her waiting for her eyes to show the sarcasm, for the joke to take hold. Dancing Girl looks back as him as if her eyes can say "you ass! I just gave you a complement! are you that inept?").
Katt: Hairs all greasy, I put this stuff in it to hold the frizzy parts together, cuz I washed my hair the other night for the first time in about nine weeks.
(Gurl is walking by at that precise moment, and makes a mental note that Katt is an idiot).
Dancing Girl: (genuinely disgusted) uh, yeah... uh. To make the afro?
Katt: No, thats always there.
Dancing Girl: You going right home?
Katt (not taking any hint): Yup, I got work in the morning.
Dancing Girl: Maybe I'll see you next week. Unless you're gonna go to Paradise.
Katt: I guess. Yeah. Sure. I'll come here.
Dancing Girl: I guess you gotta go find your friend.
Katt: yeah.
(Katt sorta puts his hand out, she puts hers out and shakes it).
Katt: oh, shit, I'm sorry I'm still gross.
(Dancing Girl fumbles for her cyanide capsule).
End.
VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
jamielee:
I saw a guy at the movie theatre with straps on his pants. I made this face 
finch:
yes, now i am back 