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boundcreature

Member Since 2004

Followers 30 Following 35

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Thursday Jun 03, 2004

Jun 3, 2004
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I wonder why they decided to call ROCKY, ROCKY and not THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME. What a kick-ass pile of seventies cinema! Man, tonight's been such a good Blockbuster night. ROCKY probably couldn't have been any better even if it had swords in it!

***

I finished my brother's tattoo design this afternoon. I overslept so I couldn't do the final drawing with a brush and dip pen like I prefer, I ended up throwing a reduced photocopy onto my lightbox and tracing it with Micron pens. It looked alright, certainly passable, but I'm not even sligthly satisfied with it. (My brother loves it, he thinks it the cats pajamas -- or something suitably enthusiastic, yet less dated).

I hate when I finish a drawing or a design and I see what it could have been, not what it is. Most people can't understand why I get so frustrated and am very seldom satisfied. Most of the time everyone just tells me I'm great and to be satisfied or stuff like "if the client is happy, who cares!" But, when I make something, and I know (for whatever reason) it got less than my 100% effort, I get bummed and my artistic self-esteem takes a few shots in the gut.

Like I said, my brother was really psyched about it, and I was pretty happy that I managed to give the figure weight and make his clothes hang on the bulk of his form (it's a drawing of Japanese wrestling legend STAN HANSEN). I just know I could've created something earth-shattering if I didn't feel obligated and pressured and if it was an important enough drawing to me that I could've spent about 30 - 50 hours on it instead of 8.

This is why I tell myself I'll stop saying yes when people ask for me to do stuff for them. I can't do work for other people, its just too hard, takes up too much of my time and always leaves me unsatisfied. It sucks especially bad when its for family or a close friend. It's just hard at this stage in my young career to put my guts into something when I have so many inspirations and projects pulling at me from every direction.

***

In other news, everyone who commented on yesterday's journal entry is awesome. I'm gonna keep the poll running a little longer in the hopes that more people drop their two cents in (hint, hint, tell your friends!).

I don't know why, but I'm just utterly fascinated by the quantity of sexual partners to subjects age ratio.

I'll tell you all my count when the guessing is done.

So, to reiterate:

1. How many sexual partners have you had and how old are you?

2. How many sexual partners do you think I've had (I'm 23)?
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
x_doug_x:
i dont think i really apologize for myself too much. maybe i do, but i think thats the biggest problem. my biggest problem is thinking i cant do somehting and psyching myself out. i cant do it, thats not gonna happen, she doenst like me, stuff like that. and that comes from a negative self image, and just from being realistic. all the positive thinking in the world isnt gonna get you everything you want.
Jun 7, 2004
pixie_fragments:
nah. you're just intimidated by my kick ass chinese food. that i got with my transgender warrior activist powers!
Jun 7, 2004

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