I've been trying to work on not being so down and negative all the time. I'm always the hype man for other people, but never myself. Why though? I notice a lot of people are like that. It's almost like I feel that I don't deserve happiness. Maybe it's from different shit that has happened to me along this journey? Possibly why I've been at the same job that I hate for almost 24 years now.
Today I called in sick from work, because I'm actually sick for one, the first time in probably 3 years. I had one hell of a weekend moving my dad down to SC. My dad has a really bad stroke last year and lost most of his right side and now he can't work. Northern Virginia, where we live is really expensive, so he had to sell his house and move to somewhere cheaper. He has been down there for about 3 weeks now, the movers moved most of the stuff, but I and a buddy from work had a 24' trailer loaded up with the heavy stuff from the garage, like the toolboxes, car lift, chemicals, things like that. Our buddy pulled that trailer down, and I drove my dad's truck pulling his boat. It was a mostly uneventful trip down until we got about 30 mins from my dad's new place. A tractor-trailer rear-ended a car right in front of me, and I had to drive down in the median into the dirt around to getting crushed by the truck moving over in front of me.
I made it back on the highway and I didn't feel anything vibration and my buddy behind me made it around also, so we kept on trucking, our exit was only 10 mins away. Go to take the exit and it's on a downhill, I go to hit the brakes to slow down and the brake pedal just goes to the floor. I downshift to slow down and get off to the side and hit the emergency brake once I am slow enough, so I wouldn't jackknife. So I had to call a tow truck and he finally got there about 2 hours later and then finally made it to my dad's.
So after 2 days of unloading and getting everything unpacked for my dad, I needed to change out 3 toilets in the house and the garage to make it easier for my dad to get off of them. Get to the last toilet and whoever installed the first one, installed the mounting bracket wrong and sealed it up sideways. So I pulled out the flashlight that I've been carrying for over 20 years now, that's been everywhere with me, even my trips to Canada lol. I check the whole and see what I can do, and I go set my flashlight on the sink, grab the toilet to set it in place, and my flashlight rolls off, hits the ground, and bounces up and then straight down into the sewer pipe! lol. Being so tired and exhausted, I just laughed and said, I guess a gift to the sewer gods.
So get all that done and time to head home. Was a good trip home, not much traffic, no problems, just an 8-hour drive. I get home, and there is a note on my door that says "hey it's your neighbor from behind you, sorry about the fence, text me your info, and insurance will take care of it" I'm like wtf? I go look and the fence is knocked down in 2 places. So it's late and I waited to text the next morning. I text her and get the story of what happened. She goes out to start her car and forgot her coffee. She goes back in the house, comes back out and her car is gone, at first, she thought someone stole it but notices her gate is knocked down. Somehow the car drives itself up a little hill, through her gate, turns left around the big shed, then turns right around a wood pile, goes through our fences, drives through my yard, goes through my side fence, and then stops at my neighbor's deck.
So, after all, that and getting sick as shit, last year I would have been oh woes me and down and pissed at the world. But all I could do was laugh. What good would getting pissed off at everything and being negative about it all be? It's not my dad's fault he had a stroke, and needed all this help, my neighbor owned up to the damage, and getting sick happens, hell it's the first time in 3 years right? The job that I hate so much, I've decided to start my own business and bought my LLC. It's all steps in the right direction. Looking back at the old posts on here, it's embarrassing looking at how I acted, but, At least I see that now right?
I know I won't always be positive and there will be a lot more tough times ahead, but maybe, just maybe, I will be more prepared to handle it better...But I know, I don't want to go back to Mr. Negative all the time.