I have been feeling really lonely lately. Sometimes I wonder why I am single and what is keeping me from finding the love of my life. I try to be a good, honest, respectable guy with a big heart. I know that I am not perfect by any means and wouldn't expect someone to think I am perfect... but, someone out there has to feel like I am the perfect person for them. I often times feel like people see me, and they don't want to take the time to actually know me, and see what I am all about. It is very frustrating.... I have really gotten to the point to where I am seriously debating the idea of not even wanting to be with someone and just keeping to myself.
Being lonely isn't a great feeling, and it often leads to a bit of depression which isn't good either. I sometimes find myself losing interest in doing things, and find myself not caring about things as much as I should. I used to be a very outgoing guy, and didn't care what people really thought of me, but now I always question what people think of me, how do they perceive me.... I want to be known as that good guy, the guy that would do anything, for everyone. I do often feel better when I help someone else, but every now and again, especially when I help someone out on a regular basis, I start to feel like I am being taken advantage of. I lose focus of the idea that helping someone is just the smart right thing to do and I shouldn't expect anything in return.
This started off as just a feeling down and lonely kind of rant, but I think it has just switched to the good guys finish last concept. I used to be a bad guy once, and I didn't have relationship issues, because I wasn't trying to be in a relationship, I was just trying to be with who ever I wanted to at the time... I was that guy, the player, the hit it until I didn't want to hit it any more and move on type guy. But, ever since I decided I really want to find someone and settle down, it seems that I can't get or keep a woman interested in me.
Anyways, sorry to just rant... but, sometimes it feels good just to write and read it for yourself.... it is a good way to see things from another view point and sometimes, you get other views and opinions to help you think about what it is you're actually feeling!!!
