Well, i just got an email from nick saying he wont be here when he said he would be here. He's going to spend however long travelling around canada with mates. Which is fine but it would have been alot nicer to find out other then through a group email.
I cant say im not upset because i am. Walking down oxford street after my first day out by myself trying unsuccesfully to stop the tears pouring down my face is not a nice thing to do.
Im not saying that im pissed off that he's going, hes free to do whatever and im overjoyed that he's found friends he can do that with. What annoys me? Like i said, it would have been nice to find out other than through a group email and im sorry but after nearly 7 months of waiting one more week makes it shit. Ive had that fucking date in my head for this long and now i feel like shit.
Ive had a really nice day and now i feel awful. I sound selfish dont i? Im not. I really am happy for him and i hope he has a wonderful time. Its just pure dissapointment.
Its like, for the last week or so ive been waiting for him to ring and its my fault he hasnt, i gave him the wrong number.
But everynight i go to bed hoping that he will call and then when i wake up and its daylight i know it'll be a whole other day until he does. And it feels like when i was a kid again and thinking that maybe when i come home from school, my dad will have bought me a guinea pig as a surprise. SO when i came home...the first thing i did was rush to my room to check. Alas, no guinea pig. I knew that it was never going to happen...doesnt mean that i didnt hope and pray. I never gave up. Well, that guinea pig thing feels the same as this.
Its really funny, my horoscope the other day said something about "If you really love somthing set it free...", you all know taht old line.
Funny how some things come true, eh?
I cant say im not upset because i am. Walking down oxford street after my first day out by myself trying unsuccesfully to stop the tears pouring down my face is not a nice thing to do.
Im not saying that im pissed off that he's going, hes free to do whatever and im overjoyed that he's found friends he can do that with. What annoys me? Like i said, it would have been nice to find out other than through a group email and im sorry but after nearly 7 months of waiting one more week makes it shit. Ive had that fucking date in my head for this long and now i feel like shit.
Ive had a really nice day and now i feel awful. I sound selfish dont i? Im not. I really am happy for him and i hope he has a wonderful time. Its just pure dissapointment.
Its like, for the last week or so ive been waiting for him to ring and its my fault he hasnt, i gave him the wrong number.
But everynight i go to bed hoping that he will call and then when i wake up and its daylight i know it'll be a whole other day until he does. And it feels like when i was a kid again and thinking that maybe when i come home from school, my dad will have bought me a guinea pig as a surprise. SO when i came home...the first thing i did was rush to my room to check. Alas, no guinea pig. I knew that it was never going to happen...doesnt mean that i didnt hope and pray. I never gave up. Well, that guinea pig thing feels the same as this.
Its really funny, my horoscope the other day said something about "If you really love somthing set it free...", you all know taht old line.
Funny how some things come true, eh?
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i'm awsome