bonnieblu

For the first time in a while, I feel like my old self.

I feel the caring, kind and sincere Bon coming back as opposed to the selfish crying messed up broken wreck I have been the last few months. As some say though, you can't really know who you are until you've faced the bottom. I think I'm still looking up from the tunnel but it's getting closer to the top. I'm definitely in a more glass is half full mood today.

I'm extremely motivated too. Motivated to get everything in my life that needs doing done. Organizing and tidying out my room, my car and my head. Getting my assignments all done and not slacking off. I always thought that the need for a laptop was just an excuse to not do my work but I'm finding now that I am actually more motivated to do things.

I guess the catalyst for all this was my best friend moving interstate. Her plane left about an hour ago and it just got me thinking that she's doing the grown up stuff now and while its really scary, it's a must in life. So even though I'm not really in the financial position to move out. I shall take control over the things that I can and get them all done. I have signed up for student housing, so as I'm a big believer in fate I'm thinking that when the time comes for me to move out an opportunity will present itself.

I can't tell you how reliving this feeling is. It's not nice walking around in a mindfield surrounded by your worse enemy, myself. It makes things harder to get on with. It makes waking up in the mornings so difficult.

But thankfully, I'm on my way to happiness.