bonnieblu

So now it's been two weeks and i have had time to reflect over the 3 years, myself, himself and everything that's happened since the inital breakup.

I hate him.

I realise that he's not entirly 100% responsible, no one ever is. But looking back over things i cannot believe how much he fucked me over. There are things i keep thinking of that i learned to accept as okay because i loved him so much. And the deal breaker in this....i realised that he never loved me.
Was that like a bottle in the face or what? That hurt, that really really hurt. But see, this is where i get annoyed at myself. Here are the key signs which i kept "overlooking":

* Never thought about valentine's day or anniversaries. Now, i'm not a materialistic girl but it's nice to be rememberd you know? And when i did bring it up "Your just saying that because your selfish. I dont believe in valentines day".
* Never in three years told me he loved me except once when we were drunk and having a huge fight.
* Didnt care if he didnt see me in a week or call me. And when i called him maybe twice in one day would call me a stalker.
* Made me feel like i couldn't be affectionate...simply holding hands was being clingy

And so on and so on. Most people know how all this goes.
It helps though to know he's realised what a compleatle fucking cunt he was.

It just hurts, i let him into my heart and my soul. He lied to me and my family and it hurts so much. I'm getting there though, i dont really even want to see him at the moment.

I just hope all this goes away!