I am seriously excited about my next session with Becca - having half a tattoo is frustrating. I want it finished already. I can't think of much else. & I'm going to get a sketchbook. I love them - am I legally able to marry a studio?
I keep seeing lots of swallows around work.
my friend from high school is organising a reunion next year. I'm a bit nervous, especially about seeing a lady who used to bully me. my friend says she has children now & she probably won't even remember me - I wish I didn't remember her. I'd like to go but I feel so embarrassed about being such a screwball back then (it's no wonder people bullied me). but it made me think about what I've achieved in ten years. I think I'm doing pretty well for myself. it's so easy to get a fit of the sullens nowadays. but, gosh, there's no need. when I see the swallows at work I think I don't have a perfect life, but it must be pretty awesome if I can find joy in everyday experiences.
I wonder if my schooling was flawed - teachers so often tell you that working hard is important. there's so much emphasis on success & fortune. but have you ever heard a teacher say well, someone has to empty the dustbins? I often wonder where my desires have come from - I wasn't born wanting a degree but somewhere in my childhood I began to believe I was nothing if I didn't go to university. I loved learning but one day in high school I just snapped - I figured that everything I did was pointless in the end & just became a waster. was this reality? or fear? since I left school, my education has brought me nothing. I don't remember anything that my teachers were trying to drill into my head ten years ago. yet, I have aspirations.
someone told me that I should look into getting a mortgage then I can buy a flat. lord knows why they gave me this advice. somewhere in the past five years people have stopped saying you're too young & starting saying geez, you need to settle down. people's expectations stress me out. I get confused as to what I want 'cause people keep telling me what I am supposed to do. me & my partner have been together longer than most people I know, so I feel like we're already married - but my friends ask when we are going to set a date & if we are planning on starting a family. I admire anyone who makes this commitment but I don't want to. there are no reasons why I shouldn't get married, but I think it's something you should do if you really want to.
I have swallows outside my office, a tattoo appointment & a happy heart. surely that's what my teachers should have told me - it's the little pleasures.
I keep seeing lots of swallows around work.
my friend from high school is organising a reunion next year. I'm a bit nervous, especially about seeing a lady who used to bully me. my friend says she has children now & she probably won't even remember me - I wish I didn't remember her. I'd like to go but I feel so embarrassed about being such a screwball back then (it's no wonder people bullied me). but it made me think about what I've achieved in ten years. I think I'm doing pretty well for myself. it's so easy to get a fit of the sullens nowadays. but, gosh, there's no need. when I see the swallows at work I think I don't have a perfect life, but it must be pretty awesome if I can find joy in everyday experiences.
I wonder if my schooling was flawed - teachers so often tell you that working hard is important. there's so much emphasis on success & fortune. but have you ever heard a teacher say well, someone has to empty the dustbins? I often wonder where my desires have come from - I wasn't born wanting a degree but somewhere in my childhood I began to believe I was nothing if I didn't go to university. I loved learning but one day in high school I just snapped - I figured that everything I did was pointless in the end & just became a waster. was this reality? or fear? since I left school, my education has brought me nothing. I don't remember anything that my teachers were trying to drill into my head ten years ago. yet, I have aspirations.
someone told me that I should look into getting a mortgage then I can buy a flat. lord knows why they gave me this advice. somewhere in the past five years people have stopped saying you're too young & starting saying geez, you need to settle down. people's expectations stress me out. I get confused as to what I want 'cause people keep telling me what I am supposed to do. me & my partner have been together longer than most people I know, so I feel like we're already married - but my friends ask when we are going to set a date & if we are planning on starting a family. I admire anyone who makes this commitment but I don't want to. there are no reasons why I shouldn't get married, but I think it's something you should do if you really want to.
I have swallows outside my office, a tattoo appointment & a happy heart. surely that's what my teachers should have told me - it's the little pleasures.
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I often wonder where my desires have come from - I wasn't born wanting a degree but somewhere in my childhood I began to believe I was nothing if I didn't go to university. I loved learning but one day in high school I just snapped - I figured that everything I did was pointless in the end & just became a waster. was this reality? or fear? since I left school, my education has brought me nothing. I don't remember anything that my teachers were trying to drill into my head ten years ago. yet, I have aspirations.
That is exactly what happened with me, too. I've only really in the last couple of years started to work out what I want to do..unfortunately it has nothing whatsoever to do with army surplus! :/
Everyone lately seems to be telling me to get a mortgage too, even my landlord, lol! It's gonna be a looong time before I get one though. I would say, just do whatever feels right.. there's no reason why you should meet other people's expectations. Quite why the majority seem to think you have to follow the exact same path as them is beyond me :/
was nice to see you today!
xx