The Art of Living Honorably
-by Bodlar Deathbringer
I have been spending a lot of my mental energy on this concept so far this year. I struggle with it at times because there is a lot of conflicting information about it. Like most of the other internal things I have been digging through it has come back to a similar location. Living honorably to me has meant honoring myself above all else. It means being true to my ideas and interests. Honoring me also means constant emotional and physicalmaintenance. On top of all that it also means removing negative people and energies, forcefully if necessary, from my life.
Second to honoring myself I honor those around me. This is where things start to get a little tricky. Frequently I find myself in situations where I cannot do both. Through my experience and shared stories of others I have realized that it must always be me first. Making concessions for anyone is a very slippery slope. If someone dishonors me or those that are important to me I work toward correcting or removing that influence. The energies and attitudes that I surround myself with have a profound effect on my emotional state.
There are a lot of ideas out there about turning the other cheek, or loving your enemy, to be at peace with yourself and the universe. I say that it is cowardly to allow negativism and dishonorable behavior from those around you. Negative behavior perpetuates more negative behavior. Misery loves company. Ignoring these threats to my own well-being only enables them to continue. There is someone in my extended social circle that is a total douche. He is your typical know-it-all type with a total lack of confidence plus a heavy dose of whiney emo. He is miserable and therefore tries to make everyone he encounters just as miserable as he is. I have explained to my friends that I absolutely dont want him around, and that if they really want to do something with him to please exclude me. They tell me they feel sorry for him so they keep doing things with him. What they dont realize is they are only enabling him and he will never wake up if people keep coddling him. Fuck that. I have clawed tooth and nail to dig myself out of that existence over the last 12 years, and he is just as capable as I.
Many would argue that this is a very selfish philosophy. At a cursory glance it is absolutely selfish. As I dig deeper I realize that I cannot be my best me possible if I am always placing others before myself. I spent many years placing others first and it caused nothing but problems. Being the best me possible has a ripple effect on those that are in my life. The people genuinely worth honoring are strengthened by my example and energy.
I went a couple years without talking to my mom for this very reason. She has since come around and we have a fantastic relationship now. If I had never taken a stand against her she may have continued the negative trend. It was very hard, but absolutely necessary. Regardless of whom someone is to me, or how much I love them. If they make a habit of dishonoring me they get removed.
-Bodlar
-by Bodlar Deathbringer
I have been spending a lot of my mental energy on this concept so far this year. I struggle with it at times because there is a lot of conflicting information about it. Like most of the other internal things I have been digging through it has come back to a similar location. Living honorably to me has meant honoring myself above all else. It means being true to my ideas and interests. Honoring me also means constant emotional and physicalmaintenance. On top of all that it also means removing negative people and energies, forcefully if necessary, from my life.
Second to honoring myself I honor those around me. This is where things start to get a little tricky. Frequently I find myself in situations where I cannot do both. Through my experience and shared stories of others I have realized that it must always be me first. Making concessions for anyone is a very slippery slope. If someone dishonors me or those that are important to me I work toward correcting or removing that influence. The energies and attitudes that I surround myself with have a profound effect on my emotional state.
There are a lot of ideas out there about turning the other cheek, or loving your enemy, to be at peace with yourself and the universe. I say that it is cowardly to allow negativism and dishonorable behavior from those around you. Negative behavior perpetuates more negative behavior. Misery loves company. Ignoring these threats to my own well-being only enables them to continue. There is someone in my extended social circle that is a total douche. He is your typical know-it-all type with a total lack of confidence plus a heavy dose of whiney emo. He is miserable and therefore tries to make everyone he encounters just as miserable as he is. I have explained to my friends that I absolutely dont want him around, and that if they really want to do something with him to please exclude me. They tell me they feel sorry for him so they keep doing things with him. What they dont realize is they are only enabling him and he will never wake up if people keep coddling him. Fuck that. I have clawed tooth and nail to dig myself out of that existence over the last 12 years, and he is just as capable as I.
Many would argue that this is a very selfish philosophy. At a cursory glance it is absolutely selfish. As I dig deeper I realize that I cannot be my best me possible if I am always placing others before myself. I spent many years placing others first and it caused nothing but problems. Being the best me possible has a ripple effect on those that are in my life. The people genuinely worth honoring are strengthened by my example and energy.
I went a couple years without talking to my mom for this very reason. She has since come around and we have a fantastic relationship now. If I had never taken a stand against her she may have continued the negative trend. It was very hard, but absolutely necessary. Regardless of whom someone is to me, or how much I love them. If they make a habit of dishonoring me they get removed.
-Bodlar
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
You are right...It's one thing to be miserable yourself but you shouldn't bring that on everyone else and making them just as miserable. You are right to get him out of your circle. The only problem with that is that he'll probably use that as something else he can use to bring the group down when you aren't around.
I'm also willing to argue that bettering yourself will only make those around you better as well as they will feed off that positive energy.