bob_dobalina

the deadline for nomination submissions for the annual adult video news awards is fast approaching. the AVN awards categories for this year are:

Best Film
Best Video Feature
Best Gonzo Release
Best Gonzo Series
Best Sex Comedy
Best All-Sex Release
Best DVD
Best Interactive DVD
Best Classic DVD
Best DVD Extras
Best DVD Menus
Best Continuing Series
Best High-Definition Production
Best Vignette Release
Best Vignette Series
Best Anal-Themed Feature
Best Anal-Themed Series
Best All-Girl Feature
Best All-Girl Series
Best Ethnic-Themed Release- Asian
Best Ethnic-Themed Release- Black
Best Ethnic-Themed Release- Latin
Best Interracial Release
Best Ethnic-Themed Series
Best Oral-Themed Feature
Best Oral-Themed Series
Best Amateur Release
Best Amateur Series
Best Pro-Am Release
Best Pro-Am Series
Best Foreign Feature
Best Foreign All-Sex Release
Best Foreign All-Sex Series
Best Alternative Release
Best Specialty Release- Big Bust
Best Specialty Release- BDSM
Best Specialty Release- Spanking
Best Specialty Release- Foot Fetish
Best Specialty Release- Other Genre
Best Transsexual Release
Best DVD Packaging
Best VHS Packaging
Best VHS Boxcover Concept
Best Overall Marketing Campaign- Individual Project
Best Overall Marketing Campaign- Company Image
Best Marketing Website
Best Retail Website
Adult Video Nudes (Worst Release of the Year)
Best New Starlet
Best Male Newcomer
Female Performer Of The Year
Male Performer Of The Year
Female Foreign Performer Of The Year
Male Foreign Performer Of The Year
Transsexual Performer Of The Year
Hall Of Fame
Reuben Sturman Special Achievement Award
Best Director- Film
Best Director- Video
Best Director- Non-Feature
Best DirectorForeign Release
Best All-Girl Sex Scene-Film
Best All-Girl Sex Scene-Video
Best Anal Sex Scene-Film
Best Anal Sex Scene-Video
Best Oral Sex Scene-Film
Best Oral Sex Scene-Video
Best Couples Sex Scene-Film
Best Couples Sex Scene-Video
Best Group Sex Scene-Film
Best Group Sex Scene-Video
Best Threeway Sex Scene-Film
Best Threeway Sex Scene-Video
Best Sex Scene In A Foreign-Shot Production
Most Outrageous Sex Scene
Best Screenplay-Film
Best Screenplay-Video
Best Art Direction-Film
Best Art Direction-Video
Best Cinematography
Best Videography
Best Editing-Film
Best Editing-Video
Best Special Effects
Best Music
Best Actress-Film
Best Actress-Video
Best Actor-Film
Best Actor-Video
Best Supporting Actress-Film
Best Supporting Actress-Video
Best Supporting Actor-Film
Best Supporting Actor-Video
Best Non-Sex Performance
Best Tease Performance
Best Solo Sex Scene

the first year that i worked the award show was kind of like the awe-inspiring moment when charlie and grandpa walked into willy wonka's chocolate factory. but with big tits and sheer clothing in lieu of everlasting gobstoppers and oompa loompas. i had spent a greater part of the evening drinking champagne at a reception in some hotel suite prior to the award show and was feeling no pain by the time the porno glitterati began to filter into the ballroom.

i hadn't consumed anything that wasn't fermented or distilled for a few hours so i munched on a few dinner rolls that i grabbed from the catered buffet in between the cat hearding that had to be done to do the requesite glad-handing and interviews of my job. after a while, i couldn't understand why i was attracting the attention of several starlets, all of whom introduced themselves, wrapped their arms around me, asked me which afterparties i was going to, etc. fully engorged with my own hubris, i simply popped my collar and figured that they just wanted a taste of my yellow flesh.

it wasn't till i went to the bathroom did i see in the mirror that the dinner rolls i had eaten must've been dusted with flour, most of which ended up on the sleeve of my suit jacket. whereas i knew it was simply enriched whitened wheat flour that was on my jacket, i suspect that the ladies that were so interested in me previously had something else in mind.